Dazed and Confused

image credit: IF:Equip

Both my heart and my brain are so confused.  I desperately want my friends to truly know Jesus and love Him - and for them to know how much He loves them.

And my friends know where I stand and what I believe.  But they also know that I respect them and do not make an issue out of what they believe or where they stand with Jesus.

Last weekend, nearly one million women all over the world "gathered" together with IF:Gathering in Austin, Texas through their computers.  I gathered a few ladies in my home and we sat around my living room listening to the ladies we have grown to love - Jennie Allen, Jen Hatmaker, Bianca Olthoff, Angie Smith, Jo Saxton, and many others.  And I am still reeling over what I heard and trying to understand how I move forward, forever changed by the challenges and encouragement these women proclaimed.

As a surprise to most, David Platt, author of Radical, was asked to speak to this audience of women.  And now, I am left wondering, is my approach to my friends too cautious - too safe?  He talks about Christians today being fearful of sounding "arrogant" and "judgmental" and "hateful" when they share Jesus with unbelievers - and so they don't.  This is exactly how I do not want my friends to see me.  But then David Platt goes on to say, "The most arrogant and hateful thing you can do is keeping His love and truth to yourself."  And so I am left wondering, how much do I have to hate someone not to share Jesus with them?

But I love my friends.  And they love me.

And as I break the statements by David Platt down, I wonder, if I had a friend who believed differently than me, and was super pushy about it, I'm not sure I would put myself in their presence on purpose.  I don't need all of my friends to be like-minded, but I do want my friends to respect and honor me.  I do not insist that my friends believe what I believe - but I do not keep secret that I love Jesus.

But is this right?  I am wrestling with this over and over again.  I just do not know the answer - and believe me - I'm praying and seeking God.

For me, my own salvation story came through a friend who I might have known went to church, but she didn't talk about it all the time.  She didn't look shocked when I made off comments or said words that reflected the world and not the Lord.  She was a faithful friend who love me fiercly - just as I was - which was a big hot mess.

And then one day, almost exactly nineteen years ago, she looked at me and said, "You need Jesus.  Come to church with me."

And I went. 

And then Jesus did the rest.

I'm not sure I would have been as open to her invitation if I had felt constantly judged and condemned.  All I felt was loved - loved as I was.

As I look back, I was open to Jesus' love because I had been loved like Jesus loves.

Yes.  I know we are to go and share His love and His truth and His story.  I believe we are in the places we are with the people we are with for a purpose.  But I continue to grapple with how this looks in my daily interactions with the unbelieving friends in my life.

Jesus loved people with passion - but He was clear about His mission.

Peter spoke with boldness and without fear.

Paul changed his entire life to spread the Gospel.

John spoke with urgency in his letters.

Have I adopted the apathetic Christian approach to my mission?  Do I worry more about what others think than their eternity?  Or am I showing Jesus' love by loving others just as they are?

Ugh...