Final Thoughts on Jonah

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The following is a post I wrote in 2014 and have edited for today. I am far from the woman who wrote these words, and yet, they still ring true for me today. To read the original post, click here.

Jonah was a prophet of the Lord in the Old Testament (before Jesus). His job was to reveal God's words to the people and kings of Israel - which was usually bad news of their disobedience and God's anger and punishment. But Jonah was given a new job opportunity to deliver God's message to an extremely evil city in what is now Iraq. Jonah was none-to-thrilled about his new assignment and thought he would outwit and outrun God by heading in the opposite direction toward today's Spain. Jonah could not imagine a world where God would extend His mercy and grace to the people who actually deserved it. He did not want to witness this scene and he did NOT want his good name attached to it. 

But God had different plans. And as is His way, God showed mercy and grace on His disobedient prophet, which Jonah was abundantly grateful for, until he realized God had not eased up on Plan A. God still expected Jonah to head off to Nineveh. And Jonah knew what God would do if the people were sorry. And he held onto his anger and bitterness and resentment.

But Jonah was greatly displeased and became angry. He prayed to the Lord..."I knew that you are a gracious and compassionate God, slow to anger and abounding in love, a God who relents from sending calamity."

Jonah 4:1-2

This reminds me of another angry and bitter and resentful man that Jesus spoke about in one of His parables (an illustrated story His listeners could relate to).

"The older brother became angry...So his father went out and pleaded with him. But he answered his father, "Look! All these years I've been slaving for you and never disobeyed your orders. Yet you never gave me a young goat so I could celebrate with my friends. But when this son of yours who has squandered your property with prostitutes comes home, you kill the fattened calf for him.""

Luke 15:28-30

Do you notice the similarities between Jonah in chapter 4 and the Prodigal Son's brother in Luke 15? Their stories leading up to the end are not the same. Jonah disobeyed his Father while the "Brother" stayed home and was obedient to his father.

But their stories become very similar as soon as their Father/father responds to the lost and disobedient ones that return with repentance and begging for forgiveness, hoping that the Father/father will respond with compassion. Both the Ninevites and the Prodigal Son humbled themselves before their Father/father. Jonah and the brother watched as their Father/father displayed an extraordinary act of mercy and grace upon those who had wandered away from Him/him. And their rage and disgust built up inside.

As soon as the boys understood that the Father/father had shown mercy to the "sinners," they are both described as becoming "ANGRY." They had either watched their father mourn the loss of his son, or heard the Father express His own anger and plan to completely do away with the nation that had hurt Him so deeply. And then this...a complete turn around in love and forgiveness!

I look at these stories of Jonah and the "Brother" and immediately compare them to the Pharisees, which is exactly who the "Brother" was meant to represent in this Parable that Jesus told in Luke. All three of these "characters" are judgmental and too worried about the rules and the law. They want to see justice served to those who deserve it. And, God is a just God; so when He dishes out love and mercy and compassion and forgiveness, it is almost shocking to stand by and watch NOTHING happen!

And I JUDGE these "characters" with my big heart that knows God's love and mercy and compassion and forgiveness...I JUDGE them thinking, "You don't get it." And I JUDGE those around me. I would be lying if I said that I have never felt like God didn't dole out the punishment like I thought He should. I have sat in the judgement seat more often than I'd like to admit. I see injustice and I want it set right! A modern day Super Girl right here! My God and I will right the wrongs of the world! But when I do this, I am missing the point...I don't get it...

"...I do not judge him. For I did not come to judge the world, but to save it."

John 12:47

Whether I judge the "characters" in these stories or the real people in my life, I become like Jonah. And then my Father must set me down and say:

...Should I not be concerned about...:

your neighbors?

your enemies?

those who annoy you?

those who have hurt you?

those in darkness?

the lost?

the lonely?

the broken?

the sinners? 

Jonah 4:11

Jesus did not come to judge, he came to save.  Our God is a God of second, twenty-second, and seventy-second chances! And we are oh so thankful when we are the recipients of His great mercy. But watching someone else, who in our eyes, has no business being forgiven, becomes tough! So we must trust that God knows what He is doing. We must allow God to discipline His children in His way. And how would we know if the one He's forgiving might not become someone great in His Kingdom. All the Bible Greats were great sinners.  Abraham, Moses, David, Solomon, Peter, Paul...and not "little church lady sins." These boys did it "right!" And these are men we respect enough to follow what their words and stories teach us.

Whether we like it or not, we are not meant to dispense judgement on others. Very clearly Jesus laid out our job for us here: "Love God. Love others." It's not easy, but it's not impossible if we lean into Jesus and let God be God.

What Breaks Your Heart?

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(Read Jonah 4)

I have been asked this question several time over the past few months:

What breaks your heart?

And if I'm honest, sometimes it feels a little intimidating to answer that question. There are so many things that bring me to tears (I'm a crier - it's not difficult). But the things that truly break my heart are becoming more and more clear to me as I lean in.

Jonah was all over the place as far as his emotions and feelings were concerned. He was rebellious and disobedient in Chapter One - but God was merciful. He was thankful in Chapter Two - and God was compassionate. Jonah was reluctantly obedient in Chapter Three - and God was relenting - but not to Jonah. And here we are in Chapter Four, where Jonah is "displeased" and "exceedingly" "angry" - and the Lord questions Jonah's motives and his heart.

For the first time in Chapter Four we see Jonah show concern for something other than himself. I have always read Jonah's interaction with the shade plant that whithered as Jonah's own selfishness about no longer having shade because it had died.

But today I read it as Jonah having concern over the plant perishing - like he was sad for the plant.

Why does this change my interpretation of these last few verses in Jonah?

Because all of a sudden, Jonah actually allows himself to become heartbroken over something. He finally shows sorrow, concern, and compassion, but it is toward a plant that existed for less than 24 hours. And yet, his heart remained hardened toward the 120,000 lives that lived in the "great" city of Nineveh. He cared more about revenge and condemnation and retribution for this evil and wicked city than about their radical repentance over God's compassion for them.

Jonah basically says to the Lord, "I KNEW you would relent! You are too gracious and merciful. You are too slow to become angry with those who deserve your wrath. You are too loving. And because of that, those Ninevites won't get the punishment they deserve. These sinners break your heart, but you kill an innocent plant!" (my paraphrase).

I'm quite certain, in this irrational moment, Jonah must have forgotten his own prayer of thanksgiving from inside the belly of the fish just a few days prior, thanking God for His mercy and sparing his life - even though Jonah had fled in disobedience and had done absolutely nothing to deserve God's mercy.

And now Jonah pleads with God for death to come and carry him away because God would not carry out His wrath on the city of Nineveh.

And this is where it gets personal for me. Over the past eighteen or so months, God has revealed something to me.

I live in Nineveh.

In the five miles around me there are about 300,000 people - and 276,000 of them do not know Jesus or have walked away from a better life with Him - and unlike Jonah, this breaks my heart.

Because the Lord loves them. He wants them to turn their hearts to Him, just as He wanted Nineveh to turn their hearts to Him. And He has placed the 8% of His followers where we are on purpose and with a purpose.

And now we all have a choice.

Will we choose to love our neighbor where they are?

Will we choose to love our enemy as they are?

Will we choose to be bold and dauntless?

Will we choose to leave the safety of the church and go out among the lost and lonely?

Will we choose to trust God and shine and reflect His light into the darkness all around us?

Will we choose to sacrifice some of our desires and preferences to create a space for the lost and broken to feel safe and welcome and expected and loved?

Jonah's dilemma was not an isolated event. Throughout history God has strategically called His followers to actually "go and make disciples." This has often times been met with "Jonah-like" responses - disobedience, fear, and rebellion. But, even as Jonah admitted from the belly of the fish - God is always with us. He will never leave us or forsake us. His love endures forever.

What breaks your heart?
Where is God calling you to trust and go?
How is God revealing to you what breaks His heart?
Who is God allowing you to come alongside with and love right where they are?
What will you do? Will you run away or will you respond and obey?
It is your choice.

BE BOLD!!! BE BRAVE!!! TRUST!!! OBEY!!!

Choose your Nineveh! Choose people over preferences. Choose God's cause over your comfort.

Second Chances

Photo Credit: She Reads Truth

"Mercy is not a matter of merit; it is God's gift."

Rebecca Faires

(Read Jonah 3)

God was determined to have His message delivered to Nineveh, and He was determined to have it delivered by Jonah. God could have permitted Jonah to drown in the sea. He could have allowed Jonah to be digested by the fish. But, instead, God chose to give Jonah mercy - to give Jonah a second chance. He spoke to Jonah again, recommissioning him to bring God's message of destruction to the evil city of Nineveh. And this time Jonah went - he complied with God's will, but that does not mean his compliance was from his heart.

Why Jonah?
Why give him a second chance?
Why warn the city of the destruction their evil ways had led them to? 
Why show mercy to this wayward prophet, who even when he obeys, was still hardhearted?
Why relent from the disaster that city certainly deserved?

Because God's ways are not our ways - we cannot fully understand why He does what He does and we are not meant to. God is merciful (Jonah 4:2). He had mercy on His disobedient prophet. He showed mercy to the Ninevites who repented and cried out to the Lord. And He shows mercy to you and me every single day - Every. Single. Day.

This story is a little bit about a proud and judgemental prophet; a little bit about an evil city who heeded the warnings of the prophet; and a lot about the God who showed mercy and forgiveness to both.

 I know I probably spend most of my days tottering between a Jonah mindset - grateful for God's mercy for me, but horrified that He would give it so freely to the worst of the worst - and the Ninevites who, once made aware of their sinful ways, and God's impending destruction, turned completely from the sins that tore them away from God, and wondered if He might have mercy on them (Jonah 3:9).

Jonah knew God well enough to understood that if the people recognized their sin and wrong doing, God would relent from the disaster and destruction. Jonah tried to prevent God from showing His mercy by running from God and away from his call. What would have happened if Jonah had run and never turned back to the Lord? I think one of two things: 1)God would have raised up another prophet who would carry His message to Nineveh, or 2)God would have destroyed Nineveh and none of the people would have known why, or given glory to God.

When we run from God and His call, we are not the only ones who suffer. His purpose for our lives is not just for our benefit. He has created this intertwining tapestry, and will pull us into the lives of others for different reasons. Sometimes we don't even know God is using us in certain ways, and sometimes He makes it quite clear. But regardless, when we walk away from His call in self-preservation and selfish ambition, ignoring His desires for us, other people are affected.

And just as God is willing to give us a second chance (or a 485th chance), we must understand that He is just as willing to give someone else another chance. He is merciful and loving. He wants every single one to come to Him. And this is why Jesus came to us - to shepherd all of us back to the Father.

What are you running from?
What breaks your heart?

Who is affected by your disobedience?

"The story of Nineveh's repentance is about God's perfect patience, His deep mercy, and His profound forgiveness." - Rebecca Faires

Arise, Go

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“Arise, go to Nineveh, that great city, and call out against it, for their evil has come up before me.”

Jonah 1:2

 (Read Jonah 1)

The Lord called to Jonah and commissioned him with a very specific task - "Go to Nineveh and call out against it.

But Jonah fled, not just from the Lord's calling, but also from the presence of the Lord.

The typical response to an unflattering task is to argue or question God, which leaves me wondering, why did Jonah run?

Perhaps he was more afraid of the people of Nineveh than He was of the Lord - the creator of the land and the sea (v.9).

It is so easy to read Jonah's story and judge his character and acts of rebellion. But when we stop and ask ourselves if we have ever acted in rebellion instead of obedience, fearing people more than the Lord, I'm quite certain we would all answer yes. I know I have - very recently actually. A situation arose where I thought I knew better than God and set out to prove it. I dug my heels in and did exactly what other people wanted me to do - because that seemed easier than disappointing and hurting anyone else. And it was awful. And I was miserable. And, it turns out, I ended up hurting myself and others through my defiance.

Every step of defiance was a step away from the Lord. For weeks I fled. What started as a simple walk quickly escalated into a full on run to escape the Lord and what He was asking me to do. I honestly thought I knew better, and I was on a mission to prove it - to Him and to everybody.

Why was I running so hard and so fast and so far?

Because, just like Rebecca Faires points out, "God is fierce and awesome in His pursuit...God's pursuit is relentless exactly because He is so loving...God wanted Jonah."

I had to run because God's pursuit is relentless - because He is loving and because He wants me. I knew that once I slowed down, God's fierce love would overcome me, and that I would once again have to make a deliberate choice to either follow Him in submission and obedience, or take off running again, fleeing from my Lord. 

But I was getting tired. Attempting to outrun God is exhausting, physically and emotionally. And it is impossible. When Jonah thought he had escaped the presence of the Lord on the boat, he fell into such a deep sleep that not even the "great tempest" (v.12) of the sea could wake him. Running makes us weak. And no matter how fast or how far we go, our Lord continues to relentlessly pursue us with His fierce love for us.

But here's the thing - we cannot outrun God. It is one of His greatest promises to us. Over and over again, throughout God's Word, He promises that He will never leave us. He will always be with us. He will go with us. And in that, we can be strong and courageous (Deuteronomy 31:6, Joshua 1:5-9, Matthew 28:20, Hebrews 13:5).

God was with Jonah and wanted Jonah.

God is with me and wants me. 

He is with you and wants you. 

He "gives specific callings to specific people" (Ephesians 2:10, Rebecca Faires). He has placed us in our specific place with specific people with a specific purpose. We may not always understand the what or the why or the where or the when or the who or the how, but we are not meant to understand, we are meant to obey and follow.

When I finally stopped running, I fell to my knees and turned my face back to the Lord. And there was a peace that overwhelmed me when I submitted my own plans and desires to Him and moved in obedience with Him.

Fear makes us irrational. But leaning into the Lord makes everything right. Lean into His strength and His calling. Obey the Lord and trust Him. And know that when you run, He will pursue you with reckless abandon. You are His beloved.

Fight or Flight?

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I was reading about a guy named Samuel this morning. His whole story is pretty incredible, but today I was only reading about when God was calling him in (1 Samuel 3). As I read, I began to reflect on the times when I have felt the Lord call me to something or somewhere. I was relieved that Samuel also struggled to discern the voice of the Lord, but a little embarrassed by the way I actually handle myself when the Lord calls out to me.

When it comes to fight or flight, I am almost always a flighter. Confrontation, awkward moments, the actual raising of ones voice - they are not my love language. I would rather avoid until the tensions cool, and then just move forward rather than actually digging my heels in to deal with the issue at hand. This MO has brought me to where I am today (although, I have been told this is neither healthy nor productive, and so I am working on learning the art of confrontation - and yes - I might have just thrown up in my mouth a little...)

What has been revealed to me over the last few days is that my mode of operation with God looks vastly different than with those around me.

Oh sure, I take off running - that's pretty much standard operating procedure for this girl. But, as I run, I think and justify and, dare I say, argue??? I can dig my heels in with the best of them and fight God something fierce.

I generally begin by reminding God that I am not actually qualified or equipped of experienced to do the thing He told me to do. And as quickly as I can, I let my mind become filled with doubt that I even heard Him - I mean, who can really hear His voice anyway? And, here's the deal, He is a God of order and clarity, NOT chaos and confusion - and I cling white knuckled to that for as long as possible whilst I run my brains out.

Frustration and exhaustion will begin to set in. And this is when I just avoid and try really hard to just "be present" and "content" where I am. "This is good," I say. "I am good here. See, all is well."

Except, it's not all well and good. I am not sure what this stage looks like for you (if you even try to fight...), but this is about the time that I begin to feel angry and maybe resentful. My mood shifts. I become edgy and angry. I can even fall into some depression. I am not me.

Why?

Because I am acting out in blatant disobedience.
Because I begin to value who I want to be or who others want me to be over who the Lord has created me to be - over who He has called me to be.
Because I become so blinded by my desire for security and comfort and what is known that I forget who it is I am meant to be serving and honoring with my life.

And then here is what happens every.single.time.

Once I am too tired to keep running.
Once I no longer have it in me to fight.
Once I cease to act out in rebellion.
Once I confess to a wise friend what is going on.
Once I humble my heart and ask for wisdom.

Peace fills me - that cliche "peace of God which surpasses all understanding" (Philippians 4:7).

This is actually an incredible feeling - like this weight, this burden has been lifted - and I am me again.

Why?

Because I am now walking in obedience.
Because I am trusting my God.
Because I am no longer fighting or flighting.
Because I am submitting to the One who knows my past, present, and future - my wins and my failures - my strengths and my weaknesses.
Because I recognize and hear the voice of the Lord.

Sweet friends. There are a million reasons we can come up with to avoid following the Lord's calling on us. Everything from time to money to being unqualified or just flat out unwilling.

But here's the deal: God does not reserve His calling based on:

• your past sins (Saul/Paul)
• your future sins (David)
• your resume (Moses)
• your age (Timothy)
• your education (Peter)
• your gender (Esther)

Jill Briscoe says, "we get our "call" when we get saved. We are all called if we are saved...it is after obedience that the courage will be waiting for you."

"Okay, Lord. I get it. I hear you. I am getting up and going - blindly following you out into the deep unknown - trusting that you will lead me right into the place that you have designed for me to be. Give me strength and wisdom. I pray for bold actions and dauntless faith. May I serve you well as I serve those you have put before me."

Please know, by no means have I "arrived" and declare myself "awesome" at obeying the Lord. This continues to be a pattern of behavior that although I am now aware of, does not mean I am completely delivered from. But, now that I am aware, hopefully I will begin to trust and obey sooner than the time before.  I pray the same for you.

Gather. Grow. Go.

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I wrote these words a few weeks ago and did not feel ready to post. I actually wasn't sure I would ever post. But I feel compelled to share a part of this journey that I am on. I apologize ahead of time for the length and if my words sting. Please know that this is my heart - and my journey. And it has taken me a long time to get to this place. And I have still not arrived. God is still chiseling away at the hard parts around my heart.

Gather.
Grow.
Go.

These three words came to me yesterday when I once again found myself wrestling with this question: "What is the duty of the church? What is the purpose of it? Who is it for?"

For several years my church has been in transition. Pastors have left and new ones have come - with new ideas. People have left and new believers have joined - unsure what it means to be a Christian, but confident that they love Jesus and He loves them. Programs and Bible Studies that were once staples in the church have been replaced by things like AA, Divorce Care, and MOPS. And we as a church have rallied around these words, "The Gospel is for Everyone."

But do we really believe it?

Because I have found myself asking, "What about me?"

My Bible Study is gone. How can I grow and connect?

What do you mean "no Women's Retreat?" How will I get away from the crazy and spend uninterrupted time with my friends - and Jesus?

And you want me to park off site and trust my life in the church shuttle - um, that means I'll have to be early to church - do you even know what you are asking? And if people want a good parking spot, they should come on time...

If you think I'm going to stand in line at the coffee shop, behind people I've never seen in my life, you must be suffering from something - I mean - do you know who I am? I'm pretty sure I helped pay for the shop...

It's only natural that I will now punish you and withhold my tithe until you get your act together and get this church back to the way I like it. But please, do not ask for my help - I am obviously busy.

Have I offended you? Stepped on some toes? Please forgive me. That is not my intention. These are the things that have crossed my own mind, although I have acted out all of these scenarios, I have thought them at some point.

Last Saturday, as I was on my way to church, I was planning on turning left, like I always do. But there were three or four cars waiting up ahead at the main road, and I didn't want to get caught up in that - left turns on busy roads make me sweaty. To avoid unnecessary sweat, I turned right and headed to church the long way.

And then I saw her. My sweet friend whom I love dearly! I put the car in park and popped out. She skipped across the street for a quick hug.

As I got back in the car, I started praying, which I usually do on my way to church. But this time it was different. I wasn't praying for the kids to come ready to learn about Jesus (which in hindsight, I should have...). I was praying for my friend and her family - who are close to me and far from Jesus. I was overwhelmed with this reality, and it became vividly clear to me that the Church must do better. We must think outside the box. We must put aside some personal preferences in order to be safe and welcoming to those who are just learning about Jesus for the first time. And we must remember that the building is only part of the experience - we - the people - We Are the Church. Our attitudes matter. People are not stupid. They can tell when they are not welcome. And I think way too many people feel unwelcome in church buildings and with church people.

We have unknowingly adopted an "Us versus Them" mentality - and we treat "outsiders" accordingly. We do not want to trade the comforts our church provides for what would make a first time visitor feel welcome and loved. We are not willing to sacrifice our preferences for the actual needs of someone else.

Hear me - WE ALL NEED THE CHURCH.

We, as a body of believers, we also need the Church and our local churches. WE need to be encouraged and strengthened and challenged. We need to grow deeper in our relationship with Jesus Christ - spurred on by other members of the body. We cannot let the Gospel message and truth become watered down. "For God so loved the world that He gave His One and Only Son, that whoever believed in Him would have eternal life" (John 3:16). God LOVED so He GAVE - we BELIEVE and LIVE - the simple Gospel truth.

Jesus tells us over and over to love others and go out into the world to share His love.

GATHER - the local church. Yes - this is a place to gather. It is a place to equip and encourage - to bless and spur on - to grow and be challenged. It is a place to be in community. But - it is not the only place.

GROW - the Sunday service offers us spoonfuls of truth. But we need more. However, instead of taking it upon ourselves, we have expected to church to provide other opportunities for growth throughout the week. Jesus, when He was asked how to pray, says, "Give us our daily bread" (Matthew 6:11). Daily - we require daily doses, not weekly. I can watch a lot of workout videos, PIN a lot of workouts, and plan my workout routine, but unless I actually workout, it is useless. I will not get stronger by just meeting once a week at the gym for a 20 - 30 minute workout, and maybe a midweek class with friends. I have to actually commit to working out. The same is true for our spiritual growth. We must equip ourselves with God's Word everyday - and apply it. WE must assume this responsibility to grow in our relationship with God. And we have never had more access to personal discipleship tools than we do today! There are books, websites, emails, apps, study Bibles, Bible Studies, videos, online videos - they are everywhere and they are endless! But, only YOU can make yourself do it. There is absolutely a time and a place to come together. But we must assume responsibility for our growth.

GO - Jesus was sent by God and in turn sent His disciples, who, through the Holy Spirit, sent others. And for 2000 years, the commission continues to pass from one follower to another. Jesus poured into His disciples and sent them out. He then gathered them back to Himself, poured into them and sent them out. This was His model. This is how the early church existed. The more I learn and the more I seek Jesus on this, the more I am convinced that this model still works. We must go out, into the world, trusting God to use us for His glory. And friends, our world is wherever we are - the coffee shop, the school parking lot, our jobs, our streets, etc...we are not all called to "the ends of the earth," but we are all called to GO - we are all SENT, just as Jesus was sent.

Gather.
Grow.
Go.

This is the Church.

**Some of my favorite resources that I lean into daily include:

• She Reads Truth - online Bible Study and app
• IF:Equip - online Bible Study and app
• First Five - app

Sticks and Stones and Words...

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*I do my best thinking in the shower.  I don't know if it's the one place where I can get lost in my thoughts or the calming sound of the water, but I just can't help but allow my mind to wander.  These words came to me a few weeks ago in the shower, but I didn't feel like it was the right time to publish.  However, in light of the upcoming election and some other current events, I feel compelled to share.  Regardless of your thoughts about Jesus or the Bible, I think we can all agree that words can encourage or destroy.*

The tongue has the power of life and death,
    and those who love it will eat its fruit.

~Proverbs 18:21~

NIV

Words kill, words give life;
    they’re either poison or fruit—you choose.

~Proverbs 18:21~

The Message

The tongue has the power of life and death,
    and those who love to talk will have to eat their own words.

~Proverbs 18:21~

God's Word Translation

Like many others, I have thoroughly enjoyed connecting and reconnecting with friends and family through Facebook.  I even have a handful of acquaintances that I have never met, but have become connected with through other friends or just online.  I joined Facebook in 2008, less than a year after my first baby girl was born.  And the only reason I got an account was to see the pictures my sweet friend was posting from her time in Italy.  It seemed so innocent and fun.  And it was.  My parents and grandparents and sister and other family could watch my babies grow up.

But the way we interact with social media now is no longer fun nor innocent.  We have lost our self-control in the security of anonymity and the ability to speak our minds without having to be face-to-face.

We all have hurts.  We have all been wronged.  And too often we feel justified in what we say or what we do.  But do we stop and consider who we are hurting with our words?  This past weekend my pastor hit our congregation with these words:

"Words can bruise our souls.  They have the power to hurt and the power to help.  

Our words always lead to action.  Your words can either turn or burn.  

Our words can turn people toward grace, love, and mercy - or - they can burn and destroy.  

Your tomorrow will be shaped by the words you say today.  

Words are neither temporary or neutral.  

An unwillingness to acknowledge the power of our hurtful words hurts those around you.  

Your words are not a reflection of your situation, they are always a reflection of your heart.  

Let's be people who fight for things and for people - not against them." 

~Phil Eubank~

When we hurt and retaliate with our mouths, are we aware of who gets caught in the crossfire of our words - of our pain?  Do you care?  Or are you so concerned and so motivated and so determined to be right and have the last word?  Does Jesus call us to be right or to be loving?  Are we to condemn or affirm God's love for those around us?  Do we take captive every thought and represent the Lord well (2 Corinthians 10:5)? 

If you love Jesus, I think at the end of our lives, we all desire for our Savior to say to us, "Well done good and faithful servant" (Matthew 25).  But what about at the end of each day or hour or minute?  What is Jesus saying about your words - about your thoughts - about your actions right now? 

In the final verse of Psalm 19, David proclaims these words to the Lord, "May these words of my mouth and this meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer" (Psalm 19:14).

Are our words pleasing to the Lord? 

Are our thoughts pleasing to Him? 

Who are we striving to impress - man or God? 

Whose opinion do we care about?  
Do our actions and our words and our thoughts convey who our Lord is?

All too often we get caught up in our hurts - in the things that bother us - in our desires or our wants - and we take to Facebook or Twitter or Instagram.  We gather fellow friends who are hurting too and we play on their hurts to strengthen our convictions in our own hearts and in our own pain. 

But is this right?  Is this what is pleasing to God?  Will He say, "Well done," to what our words say?  

Our hearts will feel the feels.  We cannot always control what happens to us and how we feel about it.  But we need to take control of our minds.  We are in control of our words.  We are in control of what we say and what we write and how we interact with others.  

Regardless of if you feel justified in what you said or what you think or what is in your heart, our job everyday is to be Jesus to those around us.  Are you being Jesus?  Are you being the love of Jesus to those around you?  Can they see His light shining through your heart and through your pain and in your shame or your bitterness?

So I challenge you to ask yourself today, "What I posted on Facebook - what I tweeted about - what I found a picture of and posted on Instagram - would God say to me, "Well done good and faithful servant?"

Here is the link to Phil's Message: A Careful Fight

Well Done, Good and Faithful Servant

This was the sunset that welcomed my Grandma into heaven.

On July 2^nd, 2016, I humbly walked to the front of a Lutheran Church in a small town in Iowa and spoke about the life of my 97-year old grandmother at her funeral on behalf of my mom’s family.  It was a great privilege and honor to have been asked to represent our family.  My heart’s desire was to speak words that would make my grandma proud – which would be words that pointed to Christ.  It was only through the power of the prayers my friends prayed over me that I was able to make it through without breaking down.

This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.  Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another…We love because he first loved us.

~1 John 4:10-11, and 19~

The apostle John wrote these words in his first letter to the Believers in western Asia. These three verses from 1 John chapter 4, are among some of my grandma’s favorites, and I am confident that she lived out these words daily – understanding that her love for others was all because she was loved by her Lord and Savior first. She loved the Lord with all her heart and with all her soul and with all her strength and with all her mind; and she loved her neighbor as herself (Luke 10:27), not because she was trying to earn anything, but instead because of the overflow of God's love through her.  She allowed her Father's love to be poured out through her, as she obediently loved others.

My grandma understood that she could never earn God's love but that it was freely given to her through Jesus Christ’s sacrifice, so that she could give it away to others - and she did.

Born into a missionary family in Madagascar, she watched her parents love those learning about Jesus for the first time.

She invested countless hours serving and loving others throughout her 97 years.

She served in several churches, first as a pastor's daughter; and then after she was married, she served her churches as the pastor's wife - a role she swore she would never have!  And by her example of loving others, she helped many in these congregations experience God’s love in practical and tangible ways.

She served her husband and her six children faithfully, loving them through her selflessness – often times putting their needs above her own wants and desires.

She served and loved her community - and especially enjoyed serving at Opportunity Village in their store.

And I know firsthand how she loved her grandchildren - investing in each one of us countless hours of prayer and tea parties - boys and girls alike looked forward to tea parties with Grandma.

My grandma will never know on this side of heaven how many lives she touched through her willingness to show Christ's love to others.  But when Christ flows through you, like it did through her, I am confident that there were many who saw something in her kind eyes - who were transformed by the love of Jesus.

The night before she passed away, as three of her children sang hymns for her, she mouthed the words that had brought her comfort and peace and promise for so many years.  When they had finished, my mom checked her phone only to find a beautiful picture of Jesus.  At that moment, my grandma reached her arms out to an empty space in the room – where we are sure she also saw Jesus.

Less than 24 hours later – on Father’s Day – my sweet grandma went to be with my Grandpa, her own father, and her Heavenly Father, and I can’t think of a better day to be welcomed into the loving arms of the Father.

My mom shared with me my grandma's wishes that her funeral service be all about Jesus - because she knows that even in her death, she can be a light shining toward heaven.

Thank you, Grandma, for loving others so well and serving us all faithfully.  Your example serves as inspiration for me to love others sacrificially, just as you loved others, and as Christ has loved us. You are loved forever through the legacy you have left behind for your children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren.  Thank you.

My sweet grandma and girlies when we visited with her 11 days before she passed away.

The picture my mom was looking at when my grandma reached out her arms to Jesus.

Dazed and Confused

image credit: IF:Equip

Both my heart and my brain are so confused.  I desperately want my friends to truly know Jesus and love Him - and for them to know how much He loves them.

And my friends know where I stand and what I believe.  But they also know that I respect them and do not make an issue out of what they believe or where they stand with Jesus.

Last weekend, nearly one million women all over the world "gathered" together with IF:Gathering in Austin, Texas through their computers.  I gathered a few ladies in my home and we sat around my living room listening to the ladies we have grown to love - Jennie Allen, Jen Hatmaker, Bianca Olthoff, Angie Smith, Jo Saxton, and many others.  And I am still reeling over what I heard and trying to understand how I move forward, forever changed by the challenges and encouragement these women proclaimed.

As a surprise to most, David Platt, author of Radical, was asked to speak to this audience of women.  And now, I am left wondering, is my approach to my friends too cautious - too safe?  He talks about Christians today being fearful of sounding "arrogant" and "judgmental" and "hateful" when they share Jesus with unbelievers - and so they don't.  This is exactly how I do not want my friends to see me.  But then David Platt goes on to say, "The most arrogant and hateful thing you can do is keeping His love and truth to yourself."  And so I am left wondering, how much do I have to hate someone not to share Jesus with them?

But I love my friends.  And they love me.

And as I break the statements by David Platt down, I wonder, if I had a friend who believed differently than me, and was super pushy about it, I'm not sure I would put myself in their presence on purpose.  I don't need all of my friends to be like-minded, but I do want my friends to respect and honor me.  I do not insist that my friends believe what I believe - but I do not keep secret that I love Jesus.

But is this right?  I am wrestling with this over and over again.  I just do not know the answer - and believe me - I'm praying and seeking God.

For me, my own salvation story came through a friend who I might have known went to church, but she didn't talk about it all the time.  She didn't look shocked when I made off comments or said words that reflected the world and not the Lord.  She was a faithful friend who love me fiercly - just as I was - which was a big hot mess.

And then one day, almost exactly nineteen years ago, she looked at me and said, "You need Jesus.  Come to church with me."

And I went. 

And then Jesus did the rest.

I'm not sure I would have been as open to her invitation if I had felt constantly judged and condemned.  All I felt was loved - loved as I was.

As I look back, I was open to Jesus' love because I had been loved like Jesus loves.

Yes.  I know we are to go and share His love and His truth and His story.  I believe we are in the places we are with the people we are with for a purpose.  But I continue to grapple with how this looks in my daily interactions with the unbelieving friends in my life.

Jesus loved people with passion - but He was clear about His mission.

Peter spoke with boldness and without fear.

Paul changed his entire life to spread the Gospel.

John spoke with urgency in his letters.

Have I adopted the apathetic Christian approach to my mission?  Do I worry more about what others think than their eternity?  Or am I showing Jesus' love by loving others just as they are?

Ugh...

Advent Reflection

Image Credit: She Reads Truth

Advent - the season of waiting and anticipation.
Advent - the season of giving and blessing.
Advent - the season of Hope, Peace, Joy, and Love.
Advent - the season of exhaustion and desperation and hopelessness.

The season before Christmas is one that I always look forward to.  And yet, once it comes, I often times find myself relieved when it's over. 

This Advent was a tough one.  As we were challenged as a church to do more than observe the season, but actually BE Advent, I found myself and those I love caught in the middle of the darkness of the world.

• sickness
• death
• suicide
• depression
• abuse
• neglect
• affairs

It was as if the darkness of the world came crashing down around me and those I love.

But I also experienced Advent in a completely new way - I experienced Jesus in a completely new way!  It's amazing to me how I have celebrated 37 Christmases, and yet I am still able to learn and experience Christmas in a new way. 

For the first time I realized that we do not observe Advent to wait for the Baby Jesus who has already come, but to remind us to wait for the King and Savior who is coming again!

I learned the significance of 1 John 3:16 - "This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters." - Christ laid down his life not just on the cross, but also in the manger.  This King left His throne and humbled Himself on this earth.  This past Christmas Eve there was a wooden manger on the stage.  And then I watched through tear-filled eyes as our pastor transformed the wooden manger into a wooden cross.  "This is how we know what love is..."

I realized the irony of the sacrificial lamb and Jesus - our Sacrificial Lamb.  Both are born in the stable and sacrificed to atone for the sins of others.  The Lamb was placed in a wooden manger - born for all the people.  The Lamb was nailed on a wooden cross - sacrificed for all the people.

I saw why the shepherds were chosen instead of the religious elite to be the first to hear about and worship the newborn King.  Although they were considered ceremonially unclean, they were visited by the heavenly host, who proclaimed the Good News for ALL people!  And would the righteous and religious elite have allowed themselves to become unclean in the presence of a newborn baby and His mother, who would also have been considered unclean?  They, unlike the lowly shepherds, would have missed the purpose of this infant King - just as they did 30 years later.

I caught a glimpse of God's Crazy Love for ALL people - allowing His One and Only Son to humble Himself among the filth and darkness of the earth.  But as He grew, His Light grew brighter and brighter.  It brought Hope, Peace, Joy, and Love to the brokenhearted and hopeless world.  This Light also brought fear, anger, jealousy, and doubt to some.  But this neither surprised Him, nor did it prevent Jesus from living out His purpose in this world.

My prayer for 2016 is that I would continue to Advent - to wait with great expectation - for our Savior - our Wonderful Counselor - our Mighty God - our Everlasting Father - our Prince of Peace - throughout the year.  We have been blessed with the greatest gift ever given!  May we always remain thankful for the precious gift of Jesus AND His great sacrifice!  Amen!!!

When You Realize You Haven't Really Changed...

photo found on www.passionconference.net

Do you have idols in your life?  I have often wondered about this in my own life.  I know at different times, I've struggled with different things, but I really thought I was in a good place with God, and then I realized, I'm not.

I really thought I was past this, but I have an ongoing struggle with fear.  Like an all-consuming, paralyzing kind of fear.  Fear is one of the reasons I stopped writing.  Fear prevents me from walking in obedience and full surrender to God.  Fear controls what I do and don't do.  It is a stronghold in my life.  And it is one that I am bound and determined to fight and break.  It also changes its look, depending on where I am in life.  It has a way of morphing into different things, but the bottom line is always the same: I am afraid.

Last week I flew to Seattle to watch my sister walk across the University of Washington's graduation stage, decked out in full PhD regalia!  It was an amazing experience, and I am so proud of her and all that she has accomplished!  But on the flight to Seattle, I realized that I was still struggling with something that I thought I was done with.  I took out my journal and wrote these words:

Right now I'm however high planes fly above the ground at what the pilots call "cruising altitude."  I'm sitting in an exit row all by myself - as in out of 12 seats in 2 rows, I'm the only emergency helper available to the flight crew - no pressure.

I've been praying off and on for several days about this flight.  This is Step 1 of my Flying Routine.  I pray for safety and protection and peace.  I also pray for the pilot and flight crew, as well as for those on the ground, asking for wisdom and discernment and that they are focused and attentive.  This goes for anyone who might have anything to do with the plane, from the fuel fillers to the seat cleaners to the guys with the glow sticks, to the people in the flight center watching all the dots on the screen.

Step 2 begins when I arrive at my gate.  I go to the bathroom several times - at least 3 or 4 times - just to be safe.  I do NOT want to have to get up during my flight.  

Step 3 - Pray again before boarding the plane.  I also try to think of a song that will act as my calming mantra for the remainder of the flight.  Tonight I chose "Give Me Faith" by Elevation Worship (I will post below).

Step 4 requires me to willfully take the steps I need to in order to walk onto the plane and get in my seat.  I promptly put my seat belt on, fastening it as tight as I can, and frantically peeking around for the nearest exits.  Today was my lucky day because the exit was right beside me!  Unless, as the sweet flight attendant reminded me, there is a fire...

Step 5 - Read and commit to memory the Safety Instruction card, which, by the way, is NOT that easy to understand.  I need words to help me understand how to remove that window exit and attach the safety rope and inflate the slide.

Step 6 is a new one - Make sure the vomit bag is in the seat pocket in front of me.  This comes from a new fear of my seat mates getting sick. 

Step 7 - I start humming my song.  "Give me faith to trust what you say, that you're good and your love is great...All I am, I surrender...I may be weak, but your Spirit's strong in me.  My flesh may fail, but my God you never will."

And that's when I realized that boy oh boy, had my flesh failed.  

As I sat in seat 11A, I found myself praying and asking God to protect me and the other passengers.  I was praying that I would make it safely back home to my girls, and asking that God would not take me because although I love Him, I love my girls and want to be with them.

And there it was.  My idols.  I admitted to my Father - the Creator of Heaven and Earth - the One who calls me beloved and chosen - the one who knitted me together in my mother's womb - who knows the number of hairs on my head and days in my life.  I admitted that I don't want to be with Him right now, in the place that He's prepared for me by the blood His Son spilled on my behalf - because He loves me that much.  

I tried to take it back, but I couldn't.  I had to immediately confess and repent, but I'm bothered by my fleshly desires.  I broke Rule #1 - "You shall have no other gods before me."" (Exodus 20:3).  He knows my heart and knows that I just don't want to leave my girls without their mama, but I ache realizing that my heart is not fully surrendered.  I've not fully given all of myself to Him.  I'm holding on and trying desperately to make sure I'm always there for my girls.  I'm afraid to leave them.

So not only do I have idols, but I'm still afraid.  Still paralyzed by fear.  Still worrying about what might happen.  Still not free from my fear.

But then I remember that His ways and His thoughts are not my ways and not my thoughts (Isaiah 55:8-9).  This brings me both comfort and angst.  And then I hear a quiet whisper, "Be still.  Be still and know.  I Am."

I am still mulling over this, but I will not let it shut me down.  And now that I am aware of it, I can move past it.  Step One - keep writing.  It has been confirmed to me over and over again for the past year or so that I need to keep writing in obedience.  Step Two - accept forgiveness.  God does not help grudges when we repent.  That is why Jesus came.  Step Three - learn to surrender my WHOLE life to God, not withholding anything from Him.  That is where He wants us - completely surrendered.

So off I go...into the unknown..."I may be weak, but your Spirit's strong in me. My flesh my fail, but my God you never will..."

Where Has the Time Gone?

I cannot believe it has been almost 2 years since I have posted here. Two Years! I know that not only because my last post was dated in January of 2010, but also because my little miracle baby who I posted about will be turning 2 on Friday. I can guarantee you that there is very little baby left, and lots of toddler, and all the joys and such that come with the toddler years! My little girl who was 2 the last time I posted is now 4. She is in preschool, writing letters, knows her numbers, and has become quite independent and sassy! In a few short months, she will head to kindergarten! When I started God's Chicks, that little chickie was only a few months old! The saying is quite true: Time Flies By!

If there are any readers left, please know that I have sincerely missed you. I have kept up with a few of you through Facebook, but for the most part, I have been absent from the Blog World.

What has brought me back, you may be wondering? It's just time. I'm at a new place, and feel like it's time to recommit myself to this blog and this ministry.

I am so excited to jump back in, and can't wait to hear from you and catch up. My love to you all!

Words to Ponder

Hosanna by Hillsong is one of my favorite worship songs right now. One of the reasons I love this song is because I feel like the Holy Spirit has used these particular lyrics to open my heart to what He wants of me:

Heal my heart and make it clean
Open up my eyes to the things unseen
Show me how to love like you have loved me

Break my heart from what breaks yours
Everything I am for your kingdom's cause
As I go from nothing to Eternity

Aren't those words convicting and comforting? This is my "mantra" for the new year. I hope you'll join me as I seek the Lord and learn to be more Christlike.

Hosanna by Hillsong

I see the king of glory
Coming on the clouds with fire
The whole earth shakes
The whole earth shakes

I see his love and mercy
Washing over all our sin
The people sing
The people sing

[Chorus]
Hosanna
Hosanna
Hosanna in the highest [x2]

I see a generation
Rising up to take their place
With selfless faith
With selfless faith

I see a near revival
Stirring as we pray and seek
We're on our knees
We're on our knees

[Chorus]

Heal my heart and make it clean
Open up my eyes to the things unseen
Show me how to love like you have loved me

Break my heart from what breaks yours
Everything I am for your kingdoms cause
As I go from nothing to
Eternity

[Chorus x2]

Hosanna in the highest

Personal Reflection

Hmmm...a little over a month later and I have not enlightened you in one way as to your Ministry Sweet Spot. I will, I promise. I can tell you that I am definitely not writing a "successful" blog right now. I'm aware, and once my "season" passes, I will be getting back in gear with you and trying once again to rebuild this ministry opportunity.

However, today, I just had to share some insights with you that I came across during my own personal devotions this morning.

I am studying 1 Peter. When I study a book in the Bible on my own, I like to take it section by section. If you are at all familiar with the NIV Bible, then you know that even within each chapter it is broken down into labeled sections that act almost like chapter titles so the reader has some idea about what they are going to be reading. This method works really well for me because it makes me take it slow, so that I can really let everything sink in, and my only "goal" is to really process the section that I read for that day. As I'm reading I try to find one or two verses that stand out to me, either because I feel it's relevant to something going on around me, or I feel like God is trying to grow or stretch me. Those are the verses I focus on in my reflection. I have read my Bible in its entirety a few times, cover to cover. One year a I decided to alternate and OT and then a NT. But I always felt so rushed and never able to let everything ruminate in my heart and wrap my spirit around what God was trying to reveal to me. My current theory is that there is no place in the Bible that says I have to read it cover to cover every year, so this is my new method, and I love what God is showing me! It's amazing, and I feel like I'm actually growing!

Anyway, enough about that. Moving on.

The section I read today is titled The Living Stone & a Chosen People from 1 Peter 2:4-12. The verses that stood out to me this morning were 11 and 12 followed by my reflection:

¹¹Dear friends, I urge you, as aliens and strangers in the world, to abstain from sinful desires, which war against your soul. ¹²Live such good lives among the pagans that, though they accuse you of doing wrong, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day he visits us.

I can definitely see some of this now, and I'm sure throughout history. "Abstain from sinful desires." Like premarital sex or homosexuality? Like pornography and extramarital affairs? Like living modestly and refusing to compromise our little girls for today's "fashion" trends? Like drunkenness or a c'est la vie mentality? This is what surrounds us as Christians today. This is what we're up against. Everywhere we turn, we live in a very sexual world. When we choose not to participate, we are then accused of being close-minded and judgemental, not realistic, prudes, or sheltered.

What are we doing wrong that prevents the "pagans" from seeing the "good deeds?" Is it the way we go about "abstaining?" DO we have a holier than thou attitude? Do we accuse others and place harsh judgement, even though that is not our job whatsoever? Is it our other actions and words that make them realize that we're no different that they are?

Friends, my first instinct was to try to blame "them," but the reality is that they are doing exactly as Peter told us they would. They are accusing us of "doing wrong" when we "abstain," so I figured that we are the problem here. What is getting in the way of the "pagans" seeing our good deeds? What do we need to change in our "delivery," so to speak? It's time to look inward instead of outward and figure out why they are blinded.