"Did You Hear...?"

...A woman's three favorite words.

Who doesn't love the latest and "greatest" juicy news? We, especially women, are, I would venture to say, slightly addicted to gossip.

But we're not really gossips, right? We're just "talking through things," or "sharing a prayer request."

What is gossip? And how do we stop it?

I was once told that gossip is anything that you would not say in front of the person that you are "discussing". This little nugget has stuck with me for a long time. How much of what I say would I want someone else to hear? I try to keep this in mind when I am in the middle of conversations, but it's tough. It is so easy to get sucked into a super juicy conversation. And if you think you're only guilty of gossip if you spread it, I think you're wrong. If you sit and listen, you are just as guilty as if the words were spewing from your mouth.

Do I have your attention now?

Think for a minute, how many times in the past week have you either shared or heard some form of gossip? That's what I thought.

So, what can we do?

This is definitely the hard part, and people will probably talk about it! But, it's so important to take a stand. If you are addicted to being the gossiper - the one who can't help but share information as soon as you hear it - STOP IT! Be in prayer about the words that come out of your mouth. Pray that they will be encouraging. Pray that you will be strong and that God will use your mouth for good and not bad. Our tongues are vicious, and once words are said, that's it. They're out there, and no matter what, you can't take them back. Plus, people will always wonder what you say about them behind their backs.

If you are the silent listener, you also need to take a stand. I don't know what that looks like for you, but perhaps you can start with letting your close friends know that you don't want to hear the latest news. You can walk away from an awkward conversation that you can tell is heading into an ugly direction. You could really be bold and stop the conversation before it begins.

I would also encourage you to go directly to a person instead of listening to the idle chatter to get the real story. This way you know what really has happened, straight from her mouth, and won't get caught up believing the lies that have passed through the rumor mill.

I would encourage each one of you to get a friend and work through this together, in prayer and by holding one another accountable.

Let's be God Chicks together!

"She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue."
~Proverbs 31:26

"...their (deacons) wives are to be women worthy of respect, not malicious talkers but temperate and trustworthy in everything."
~1 Timothy 3:11

"Turn away from godless chatter..."
~1 Timothy 6:20

GOD CHICK

Proverbs 31:10 - 31 (Amplified)

A capable, intelligent (champion chick), and virtuous (warrior chick) woman - who is he who can find her?

She is far more precious than jewels and her value is far above rubies or pearls. (princess chick)

The heart of her husband trusts in her confidently and relies on and believes in her securely, so that he has no lack of [honest] gain or no need of [dishonest] spoil. (lover chick)

She comforts, encourages, and does him only good as long as there is life within her. (lover chick)

She seeks out wool and flax and works with willing hands to develop it.

She is like the merchant ships loaded with foodstuffs; she brings her household's food from a far country. (whatever-it-takes chick)

She rises while it is yet night and gets spiritual food for her household and assigns her maids their tasks. (party chick)

She considers a [new] field before she buys or accepts it [expanding prudently and not courting neglect of her present duties by assuming other duties]; with her savings [of time and strength] she plants fruitful vines in her vineyard. (whatever-it-takes chick)

She girds herself with strength [spiritual, mental, and physical fitness for her God-given task] and makes her arms strong and firm. (champion chick)

She tastes and sees that her gain from work [with and for God] is good; her lamp goes not out, but it burns on continually through the night [of trouble, privation, or sorrow, warning away fear, doubt, and distrust]. (party chick)

She lays her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff.

She opens her hand to the poor, yes, she reaches out her filled hands to the needy [whether in body, mind, or spirit]. (whatever-it-takes chick)

She fears not the snow for her family, for all her household are doubly clothed in scarlet. (warrior chick)

She makes for herself coverlets, cushions, and rugs of tapestry. Her clothing is of linen, pure and fine, and of purple [such as that of which the clothing of the priests and the hallowed cloths of the temple were made]. (princess chick)

Her husband is known in the [city's] gates, when he sits among the elders of the land. (lover chick)

She makes fine linen garments and leads others to buy them; she delivers to the merchants girdles [or sashes that free one up for service]. (whatever-it-takes chick)

Strength and dignity are her clothing and her position is strong and secure; she rejoices over the future [the day or time to come, knowing that she and her family are in readiness for it]! (party chick)

She opens her mouth in skillful and godly Wisdom, and on her tongue is the law of kindness [giving counsel and instruction]. (party chick)

She looks well to how things go in her household, and the bread of idleness [gossip, discontent, and self-pity] she will not eat. (whatever-it-takes chick)

Her children rise up and call her blessed [happy, fortunate, and to be envied]; and her husband boasts of and praises her, [saying], "Many daughters have done virtuously, nobly, and well [with the strength of character that is steadfast in goodness], but you excel them all! [Wow!] Charm and grace are deceptive, and beauty is vain [because it is not lasting], but a woman who reverently and worshipfully fears the Lord, she shall be praised! (lover chick)

Give her the fruit of her hands, and let her own works praise her in the gates [of the city]!

From Holly Wagner's book, God Chicks, pages 211 - 213.

whatever-it-takes-chick

You will find as you look back upon your life that the moments that you have really lived are the moments when you have done things in the spirit of love. ~ Henry Drummond

Holly tells a story about herself at the very beginning of the Whatever-It-Takes Chick chapter. She talks about how she feels like she should join the circus with her plate-spinning act. She has her wife plate, mom plate, pastor plate, author plate, speaker plate, and friend plate, all spinning at one time. Can you relate?

She was in the shower feeling overwhelmed and began to cry out to God, you know, trying to get Him to feel sorry for her because she had so much going on. Instead of feeling sorry for her, God asked Holly which plate she wanted to drop. She thought for a moment and told the Lord that she didn't want to drop any of those plates, she loved all the various aspects of her life. To which the Lord replied, "Well, you better get great at spinning them because there are even more coming your way!"

Holly goes on to say that she often times finds herself praying for more - more increase, more provision, more blessing. She says that although this prayer request is not wrong, that perhaps instead of asking for more, we should pray that God will make us bigger, ask Him to increase us. Don't get me wrong, she's not talking about asking God to make our physical bodies bigger - yikes! Think Prayer of Jabez. This prayer is asking to enlarge your territory - your area of responsibility. Basically, you would be asking God for another plate. Holly cautions her readers by saying, "Be careful when you pray that! You are asking God for another plate to spin!"

But know that God needs us to be great at handling a lot. We can't be wilting under the pressure. We can't be decreasing in passion or ability. Our Lord needs us to be doing our part, which includes growing, stretching, and becoming stronger. We have to be the ones who will do whatever it takes to get the job done! (God Chicks, pages 188 - 189)

The whatever-it-takes chick knows and understands that her Lord wants to bless her and provide all that she needs to fulfill her purpose on the earth. She realizes that He is not withholding anything from her that she requires in order to be successful. We serve a God who longs for us to do well in life. He does not sit on His golden throne, throwing hardships at us, hoping that we will fail, and then mocking us when we do. Thank goodness that's not the God that we serve! There are humans who behave in this way, but not our King! Often times, however, we get caught up in what is an actual need verses a want. There are a lot of things that I want, but I have everything that I need. It's okay to have wants, as long as you don't get wrapped up in them, and refuse to do God's work.

What would happen if all of the pastors quit working because they all wanted new cars, Blackberries, all-expense paid trips around the world, and bigger churches. We would be in a world of hurt. Would these things help their ministries? Absolutely! New cars that are a little bigger would help them pick up others on their way to church on Sunday. Blackberries could help the pastors keep up with all of their email from the parishioners. World trips could be used to serve others around the world, bringing Light to these lost peoples. Bigger churches would have more room for more people to hear these pastors bring the Word of God. BUT, are these needs?

God will provide for you. He always has and He always will. Look around you right now. What are you lacking that you truly need? Holly Wagner tells her readers that the only one stopping you from having what you need is you. So, think to yourself, are you doing something to compromise God's ability to give you what you need. Are you standing in the way of the goodness that God wants you to have?

Another piece of wisdom is to take care of what you have been given. Recognize what the Lord has given you, and care for it. Do not neglect what has been given to you. If you want abundance in anything - your marriage, finances, talent, friendship, career - take care of what you have NOW!

Remember the parable that Jesus tells in Matthew about the talents?

14-18"It's also like a man going off on an extended trip. He called his servants together and delegated responsibilities. To one he gave five thousand dollars, to another two thousand, to a third one thousand, depending on their abilities. Then he left. Right off, the first servant went to work and doubled his master's investment. The second did the same. But the man with the single thousand dug a hole and carefully buried his master's money.

19-21"After a long absence, the master of those three servants came back and settled up with them. The one given five thousand dollars showed him how he had doubled his investment. His master commended him: 'Good work! You did your job well. From now on be my partner.'

22-23"The servant with the two thousand showed how he also had doubled his master's investment. His master commended him: 'Good work! You did your job well. From now on be my partner.'

24-25"The servant given one thousand said, 'Master, I know you have high standards and hate careless ways, that you demand the best and make no allowances for error. I was afraid I might disappoint you, so I found a good hiding place and secured your money. Here it is, safe and sound down to the last cent.'

26-27"The master was furious. 'That's a terrible way to live! It's criminal to live cautiously like that! If you knew I was after the best, why did you do less than the least? The least you could have done would have been to invest the sum with the bankers, where at least I would have gotten a little interest.

28-30"'Take the thousand and give it to the one who risked the most. And get rid of this "play-it-safe" who won't go out on a limb. Throw him out into utter darkness.'

(From the Message Bible)

So, obviously, the master is God, and we are one of the three servants. Which servant do you want to be? The talents represent our abilities, time, resources, and opportunities to serve God while on earth. These things are considered by God as a trust that we are responsible to administer in the wisest possible way.

My mom used to say, "Privilege and responsibility go hand in hand." There were hand motions too, that ended up with both hands clasped together. I hated to hear this. My sister and I could feel it coming, and when she uttered these words, it always made me shudder, and then it made me angry. I thought I got it. But now, I get it! Everything we receive from the Lord is our privilege. What we do with it is our responsibility. Take care of the things that God has given you.

Have you ever seen a diamond when it is first mined? It is not the pretty stone that sits on my finger, that's for sure! I can guarantee you that if the jewelry store had tried to convince my husband to buy a diamond in the raw, he would have walked right out of the store, probably mumbling under his breath. The raw material is not as important as how it's developed. Once the diamond has been cut and polished up, and placed in the setting, it now becomes something special, whereas, an ugly piece of coal, not so much. YOU are more important as you grow and develop.

Do you remember when you were first saved? I was seventeen - a senior in high school. My world was crashing all around me, and my friend knew it. She brought me to church with her, and my life has never been the same!

But, can you imagine if I'd been content to just be saved. I would never have grown or matured. I was happy to be a new Christian, but excited to move forward. However, I couldn't go far until I'd mastered whatever I was working on first. It would be hard to have started this Blog twelve years ago, before I really understood who my Lord was. So I learned, and worked, and put forth effort. Did I have a goal? You betcha! Was I discontented in my current state? Nope! Just happy to be with my Lord and Savior!

It's the same way with you! If you have a minimum wage job that you're not thrilled with, do it in excellence! Be the best employee. Have a good attitude towards your job! This is how one moves up in life. Someone will notice you, and your good attitude and willingness to work hard will pay off! Don't ask for a bigger, better job until you are great at the one you have. (Holly Wagner, God Chicks, page 192)

Whatever-it-takes chicks want to increase her capacity and ability to handle more. We live in a "I WANT IT NOW!!!" society. But, somethings you have to increase yourself first, before you can have it. Ooh, touchy. "But I'm not the problem - he is!" Instead of asking God to change others, maybe you should try asking God to change your heart. If your kids are driving you absolutely crazy, stop blaming them and look at yourself. What can YOU do to help the situation, and pray that God will reveal these things to you.

There are things that you can do specifically to increase your capacity and ability. "Study hard, read a book [a week] (yeah right), stay married when you feel like leaving, write a letter to a friend when you'd rather shop (or play on the Internet), play with your children when you want some alone time, write when you feel like sleeping, work out when you feel like playing, control your emotions when you feel like screaming, forgive when you feel like hating, overcome limitations when you want to quit." (God Chicks, pages 192-193)

Girls, be ever so careful who you spend most of your time with. If you are spending a lot of time with bitter, negative, critical people, the odds are not in your favor. Eventually, you will become bitter, negative, and critical. Their capacity in tiny, and it will not help you enlarge yours. I'm not saying that you should avoid these people at all costs. Just don't surround yourself with them. Make sure that you spend more time with positive people who help to encourage and enlarge you. These ladies are probably women who are committed to enlarging themselves as well.

Remember that God wants you to grow and live in abundance. He wants your capacity and abilities to increase more than anyone else! He's on your side, Chicks!

So, my advice to you: 1) Don't buckle under pressure. 2) Go above and beyond. 3) Be generous with what the Lord has blessed you with. Be a giver, not a getter!

lover chick

Love never fails. ~ 1 Corinthians 13:8

There are probably three verses in the Bible that your mind goes to when you think of love.

John 3:16 - "For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life."

Luke 10:27 - "'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind'; and 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'"

And, of course, 1 Corinthians 13. Someone gave us a picture for our house when we were married. I have never known the best place to put the picture, so for now, it's in my bathroom. Guess what I'm reading while I'm, uh, never mind...

We are commanded to love. God shows us amazing love. And yet, loving others (and even ourselves) is so hard. I know for me, loving the lovable is a little easier than loving the "unlovable", but even the lovable can pose a challenge for me. Nevertheless, God loves me all the time! ALL THE TIME! His love never waivers, and His love will never fail me. This is the love that I am striving for.

Lover Chicks are great at loving their families, because they understand how to love them. They do a wonderful job loving their children, their parents, and even their hubbies! Lover Chicks have moved beyond the "euphoric" state of love. This love lasts for a maximum of 2 years. You know, the "shnooky-wooky" love. The kind of love that has been described as "blind".

Real love, on the other hand, is not a place you "fall" into. This love is not a feeling. Rather, it's what you do, sometimes in spite of what you are feeling. Sometimes we are guaranteed not to feel love towards someone. If that's the case, then you must choose (there's that little word again) to do loving things.

My daughter is still a baby, so she is easier to love. My husband, however, in not as easy. But, I must choose to love him, even when I don't feel like loving him. So sometimes I have to choose to FORGIVE him. I have to choose to make his dinner. I have to choose to watch TV with him. I have to choose to say nice things. I need to ask him what makes him feel loved, and then do those things for him. I am definitely not a master of this, but writing this reminds me that I need to put forth a little more effort!

How do you talk to your husband? Do you treat him like a child? If so, then you are mothering him. Not good, my friends! If you treat him like a child, then he will start acting like a child. Think about what you say to your spouse, and the way that you say it.

The biggest key to communication, which is the building block of any relationship, is to LISTEN! Make your ears available to your spouse, your kids, your family, your friends, and your community!

Another way that you can demonstrate your love and respect is to be loyal. If you are feeling disconnected to your husband, or in another relationship, and feel that you are on opposing teams, it is important that you remain loyal. This is one of the greatest ways to be respectful. If you are showing respect, your husband (or friend) will know that you are willing to do whatever it takes to repair your relationship and get back on track together.

Your children need to know that you love them. Lover Chicks love their kids. Tell your kids that you love them. Hug them and spend time with them. Never abandon your children, physically or emotionally. They are learning how to love by the way that you love them.

If you haven't read Gary Chapman's Five Love Languages, I highly recommend it. I read it before I got married, but I want to read it again when my daughter gets a little older. Every person shows and receives love in different ways. By knowing how someone receives love, you will know how to show them meaningful love. My husband's love language is Words of Affirmation. Mine is Time. I have to work hard at reaffirming him with my words, and he has to remember that I need to spend time with me.

Lover Chicks love their friends. Girls, make sure your friends know that you love them. Give your chicks a call or send them a card. Remind them how special they are to you.

Lover Chicks love their God! Tell Him that you love Him. Your actions are so important in showing God that you love him! 1 John 4:20 says this, "If anyone says, 'I love God,' yet hates his brother, he is a liar. For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen."

In order to love others, you must keep your heart open. If you have closed off your heart, or are protecting your heart from getting hurt, you are going to have a really hard time loving others. We must love humanity, which involves seeing humanity. We can't turn a blind eye to the pain and suffering that is going on all around us. And yet, when the man on the corner, holding his homeless sign, was asking for money, I didn't even make eye contact. I played with the radio, looked in the rear-view mirror, checked my phone for missed calls, looked intently at the red light, wishing it would turn green. Why can't I extend love to this man? My negativity gets the best of me. "Is he really homeless? Where would my money go? Is he safe? Am I safe if I stop?" I let my head get the best of my heart. Then the conviction sets in. I am here to show Christ's love to the lost. Would Jesus be checking his iPhone, or would he be helping the man on the street? I really struggle with this.

Now, not to be the ultimate downer, there are other ways to love humanity, and love others! How many of you know your neighbors? I mean, really know your neighbors. I live in a cul-de-sac, and know most of the people on my street, but beyond knowing their names, their children's names, and maybe a few "non-intimate" details about them, I do not know my neighbors. I am kind to my neighbors, but I'm not sure I love them like I love myself. But, what a perfect place to start loving humanity! Just think what could happen if you started loving your neighbors! Holly Wagner spotlights a woman in her book. Nancy Alcorn started by loving the girls in her neighborhood. Her neighborhood has now expanded to include more of the world. When Nancy met with President Bush, he called her a "soldier in the army of compassion." What a powerful image! You can check out more about Nancy at www.mercyministries.org. She is the founder of this group.

Ladies, I promise you, there is hurt everywhere you turn. People who are longing to be loved. Young women battling eating disorders, teenage or unwanted pregnancies, depression, or sexual dysfunction. There are girls in our own community who don't even know what it means to know a mother's love and support. They are longing to be welcomed into a loving environment, where they can truly be loved, and learn about the God who loves them. Perhaps you could extend a little piece of yourself to a generation that so desperately needs you. Sometimes all you need to give is a shoulder to cry on and an ear that will listen.

Isn't this Biblical? Look at Titus 2:3-5. We are to mentor those who are younger than we are. God wants us to take care of and look after our Sisters in Christ.

party chick

Laugh 'til you can't laugh anymore ... and then laugh some more! ~ Holly Wagner

It is a happy talent to know how to play. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

Ladies, life is for loving! It's time that you start living your life with PASSION! We all have good things in our lives, even if you have to search for them. Celebrate the moments you are given. Embedded somewhere in one of my past posts I wrote about your "dash". (I looked all over for the mention of this and couldn't find it, so I either forgot to put it in where I was planning to or, just can't find it, so, I'll review.)

The "dash" in your life is where you make a difference. On your headstone one day you will have a dash. It's the small little sign that separates the day you were born from the day that you passed away. ALL of you LIVING happens in that dash. What are you doing with your dash? What are you doing with your NOW moment? We often times feel like our time is infinite. However, we do not know what tomorrow brings for us. For crying out loud, we don't even know what the next few moments will bring. Ladies, it is so important for us to make every moment count! Be intentional about the way you are living your life. And remember, there are little eyes watching your every move!

So, you might be thinking that I have deceived you with the title of this post, and then posting such serious material. My apologies. I just wanted to remind you of that little snippet. Remember, Party Chicks LIVE LIFE!

Party Chicks live in the moment that they have been given. These ladies are content with the life that they have been blessed with. Party Chicks quit wishing that they are somewhere else, and are just happy with where they are. They are not comparing their lives to others, and they are not jealous, or envious of their friends. These girls search their own lives and find happiness and joy, and they live life to the fullest!

In response to the answer, "I'll do it tomorrow," my mom would say, "Tomorrow never comes." Ooh, I shuddered as I wrote that, as I promised myself long ago (like when I was 13) that I would never utter those words, and yet, here I am, uttering them to you...but, her words are so true. There are no guarantees in life except that one day, we will all die. Hmm, not the nicest thought, but it's true. I don't know about you, but I am the queen of procrastination. My poor husband has finally learned to give me a 2-day notice for underpants and t-shirts. Why labor with the laundry today when I could do it tomorrow...

Listen girls, I know laundry isn't enjoyable, but stop putting things off. Do it today, get it over and done with, but, and this is a big but, don't consume your days with the "have-tos". It seems like we are always putting off living. When we're 15, we can hardly wait to be 16. When we're in high school, we can't wait to get to college. Once we're in college, we can't wait to get out and start working. When we have our first house, we dream about what it will be like to have a bigger house. We can't wait to get married, have kids, be grandmas, retire, etc. If we're always looking towards the next big adventure, we often times will forget to enjoy the adventure that we're living (or supposed to be living). Who has ever looked back and thought, "oh, if only I could go back to this part of my life?" I challenge you to stop looking forward and backward, and just enjoy today!

Party Chicks are champs at living their moments to the fullest! Do you know girls like that? They can take any situation, no matter how mundane or terrible it may seem, and turn it into one of the best times ever! They love life, and everyone around them knows! Realize that not every moment of your life is going to be a party, but that doesn't mean that you should mope around during those times. If you are making the best of a situation, you will feel so much better about it! I don't know if you know this, but it is easier for you to smile than it is to frown. Give your face a break, and smile! Your face will love it! And so will those around you!

We know now that Party Chicks value the now. They also celebrate the victories no matter how small they are. Princess Chick lost 3 pounds, let's have a party. Champion Chick finished her class, let's have a party! Warrior Chick's son graduated high school and she made it through the ceremony without crying (too much), let's party! Friend Chick had a baby, PARTY HARDY BABY! You found the perfect shoes (and now need the perfect outfit to go with them), P-A-R-T-Y!!!

The great thing about Party Chicks is that they can (and we should) rejoice in the midst of challenges. God promised us a whole bunch of things in the Bible. And, if you know anything about our Lord, you know that He keeps His Word! Unfortunately for us, He never promised us a life without turmoil. He promised that He would be with us when we suffer, but we are not exempt from tough times. James tells us to "Consider it pure joy, whenever you face trials of may kind." ~ James 1:2

Think about how you go through struggles. And believe me, I have not arrived yet. I have been known to withdraw from others and turn inward. I can let bitterness into my heart, and allow it to consume me. But, as I grow, I also learn. I also know that now my daughter will be watching me. The bar has been raised. I pray that the Lord will walk with me through my trials, and that I will come through them stronger than I was before.

Party Chicks search deep within for their source of strength in order to find that joy during difficult times. One of Holly Wagner's favorite Bible verses is 2 Corinthians 2:14. The Message says it this way, "God leads us from place to place in one perpetual victory parade". Do you love it! Can you picture your Creator, your Savior, leading you around. He wants the best for you! We will all walk through valleys, but we will also have a few mountain tops as well. Look to God for your strength. He wants you to come to Him. He wants to provide you with the strength that you so desperately need. We each wake up every morning and make choices. Choose to be happy. Choose to trust God. It is your choice.

Party Chicks are able to identify the "wondrous" things in life. Paul tells us to think on whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, and whatever things are praiseworthy (Philippians 4:8). Look around you. I can look out everyday and see the Rocky Mountains from my house. Others of you may see the ocean, or a beautiful snow-covered pine tree. God has left us so many reminders of His wonders! Open your eyes and see them!

I can only speak for myself, but I know that when I am focused on the needs of others, I don't dwell on my own needs or desires. What are you focused on? If you can't see beyond yourself, then I can almost guarantee that you are dwelling on your own self-pity. See beyond yourself. Look past your own selfishness and see the others that are hurting. Not only will you feel better, but you will realize that a lot of your "needs" are really just "wants". Also, when you encourage another person, you are helping them. To encourage someone means "to put courage in." I think that's awesome!

Girls, look for the good in life. It's there. I promise. Find the good and PARTY! Party Chicks open their mouths with laughter! Open mouth laughter is real laughter, and the best part is that it's contagious! Don't be afraid to laugh. Let yourself laugh. Laugh at yourself! Laugh with (not at) others! Laugh until you cry! There is a party chick inside each and every one of you! Let her out - and P-A-R-T-Y!!!

friend chick - part 2

Alright, yesterday I left off giving you only one of Holly's eleven ways of making and maintaining good friendships. The first one was to show acceptance in spite of differences. I hope you were able to take the little quiz! So, let's continue.

2 - Value the friendship, but also the person. Spend time with friends who truly value you. Embrace the differences between you and your friends, don't just tolerate them.

3 - Keep your heart and mind open and accepting. Right now, think of a friend who you have a hard time with. Think about why that is. I have a friend who is so hurt right now, but is unwilling to share her hurt. I could easily shut her out, but I know that it is important for me to accept her as she is, even though some of the things she does could be hurtful.

4 - Build friendships with girls of different personalities, age groups, and backgrounds. If you are single, that doesn't mean that some of your friends can't be married. If you have children, that shouldn't prevent you from having friends without children. If the only channel you ever watch on television is ESPN, this does not mean that you can't have a friend who despises sports. If you're a coffee craver, however, then I would caution you about finding a friend who doesn't drink coffee (just kidding).

I would say that it is as important to have someone older and wiser as a confidant, as it is to have someone younger whose life you are speaking in to. Maybe this is a girl who is struggling with something that you have already survived.

Remember, God Chicks come in all shapes and sizes. Some wear pantyhose, some are athletic, some work, some have tattoos, some dance. Don't allow these differences cause you to reject your sister in Christ. Embrace your differences and build bridges. Don't be selfish!

5 - Remain loyal. According to Mr. Webster, loyalty means, "devoted to, to stand by, to fulfill promises." It also means "to forsake any ambition that compromises the relationship." Loyalty is an extremely important characteristic in a friend.

You should not let convenience dictate when you will be loyal. When you are loyal to your friends, you are committed through the difficult times. Holly Wagner reminds us that friendships are not always 50-50. Sometimes, when your friend is struggling, a friendship might be more like 70-30. If you're having a rough go, it might be 40-60. There may be a time in a friendship when it's 100-0. This is when it's exhausting to be a friend, but this is when you remain loyal to your friend. It's not easy, it's not convenient, but you must remain supportive and stick with your friend.

6 - Rejoice with your friends, even when it's hard. It's easy to be happy for a friend when something good happens that you don't really care about. When Party Chick's cheerleaders win their competitions, I can rejoice without jealousy because I don't coach cheerleading. Sometimes it is hard for us, as women, to be a loyal friend when our friend's life looks much better than our own. When my husband and I were still dating, Princess Chick got engaged. Yeah for her, right? Hmmm, let's see. I had been dating my now husband for well over 2 years. She had known her fiance for 2 months. Of course I was excited for Princess Chick. We were nearly inseparable, but she had something that I wanted, something that I had been waiting and praying for. My heart was so hurt, but I was also happy for her. I was honest with Princess Chick. I told her that I was excited for her, but I needed a moment to wrap my head around it all and pull myself together.

I was so thankful that Princess Chick was sensitive and patient with me while I worked out my selfish, but very honest, feelings. She had been there with me even before my husband and I started dating, and she certainly was about to leave me alone. And, she was one of the very first to rejoice with me when I did get engaged. You see, when you take your eyes off of yourself, you are then able to display your loyalty.

7 - Remember that friendships are like Crock-Pots, not microwaves. For a "drive-though," instant-gratification society, this is a tricky one! Any relationship takes time. Time to develop, and you must invest time. Just because you've known someone for years does not mean that you have developed a close relationship. If neither of you has invested anything of yourself into the other, this friendship will not grow or develop into anything more than an acquaintance.

8 - Never rely on one person to be your everything. God is the only one that you can truly depend on. He is the only one that will never let you down. He will always be there for you. He will never break His promises to you. If you expect the same from one person, or for any person, you will be disappointed. It is easy to want to depend solely on another individual, but not only is this not fair to you (because you will be disappointed), but it is also unfair to that person. That's a lot of pressure to put on one person, knowing that it is an impossible task. Due to our flesh, we will let someone down, and others will let us down.

9 - Be honest with your friends. Does this even need explanation? Be real. You don't need to lie to make friends. Be who you are, and tell them the truth. Your friendships cannot be built on lies. Sooner or later, the truth will come out, and your friendships may not survive.

10 - Offer encouragement. Be the encourager sometimes. Just like you need encouragement some times, your friends do too. Although relationships are not always 50-50, they can't always be 0-100. You need to put forth some effort as well! Get over your fear or betrayal and open up your heart. Relationships must have some depth to them, and the only way to grow deeper in a friendship is to open yourself up and be willing to be transparent.

11 - Don't wait until someone is dead or dying to say good things to them. Right now, in a note, a call, an email, a text, or face-to-face, tell your friends how much you love her. Be specific about what you love about her. Share your dreams, or your fears. Whatever you do, do it now!

friend chick - part 1

"It's better to have a friend than go it alone. Share the work; share the wealth. And if one falls down, the other helps. But if there is no one to help, tough! By yourself you're unprotected; with a friend you can face the worst." ~ Ecclesiastes 4:9 - 12 (The Message).

THANK GOD FOR GIRLFRIENDS!!! Can I get an amen!?!?

It's so obvious that we are meant to have friends. The One who created us in His image has so perfectly wired us to need each other. These friendships that you build are crucial to your happiness and your success in this life. God knows this. He wants us to have friendships and relationships!

Making friends may be difficult for some of you. The hardest part is reaching out. Remember that friendships require two willing participants. It's tricky to be a true friend to someone who you've never spoken with. Just as we need to be in communication with our Lord, you must also communicate with your friends. If you are shy, this doesn't mean that you need to get up in someone's face on Sunday and announce to her that you would like to be her friend. Perhaps you start slow. Make eye contact and smile. Initiate a conversation, or even just a hello. I challenge you to make the first move. If you sit back and wait for someone to come to you, who knows how long you'll have to sit there? Be bold!

Holly Wagner explains that there are four attributes or characteristics of friendship.
1 - Friendships are an avenue of hope.
2 - Friendships are a place of inspiration.
3 - Friendships provide laughter when you need it.
4 - Friendships offer prayer when you are in need of a miracle.

So my friends (how very John McCain of me...), how do you make friends? Holly gives eleven ways of making and maintaining good friendships.

1 - Show acceptance in spite of differences.
We are all different, and thankfully so. Could you imagine if we were all identical? Hello Stepford Wives! The world would be so boring! What would the Body of Christ look like? If we were all had the gift of teaching, then who would serve?

"Just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, so in Christ we who are many form one body, and each member belongs to all the others. We have different gifts according to the grace given us. If a man's gift if prophesying, let him use it in proportion to his faith. If it is serving, let him serve; if it is encouraging, let him encourage; if it is contributing to the needs of others, let him give generously; if it is leadership, let him govern diligently; if it is showing mercy, let him do it cheerfully." ~ Romans 11:4 - 8

See, it's good to be different. Hippocrates (hip-pok-ru-teez), a Greek physician about 400 years before Christ, identified four basic personality types. They are Sanguine, Phlegmatic, Melancholy, and Choleric. If you click here, you can take a quick personality test, and it will give you the results. I'm going to define each type (based on Holly Wagner's definitions), and will tell you what percentage I was in each category.

SANGUINE: A "party-waiting-to-happen". These people are "confetti-in-a-bottle" people! They are lively and energetic, and they can talk to anyone at anytime. Often times these people can be found in the middle of the party. Everything about them is open and moving - mouth, hands, eyes! They use big gestures and laugh frequently and loudly. Sanguines make friends easily, and love being with people. Dull moments are few and far between. But, with all this fun-loving, livin' up life attributes, there are a few downfalls to the Sanguine. They tend to suffer from Foot-in-Mouth disease (I call it word vomit). They tend to dominate conversations and don't stop to think about what is coming out of their mouth (and spewing all over their neighbor). Often times Sanguines are disorganized and forgetful - they buy planners because they look good, or match something. They are superstar starters, but failure finishers. The biggie is that they can be motivated by feelings rather than reality.

PHLEGMATIC: These are the Chameleons, in that they can become whatever is necessary in any given situation. They are not extremely anything. Phlegmatics are generally easygoing and relaxed, peaceful and agreeable. They make wonderful listeners and are very compassionate toward others and their problems. But, they can be unenthusiastic and indecisive. These people are set in their ways, and not super excited about going a different direction. Instead of dolling-up, Phlegmatics will choose to wear the most casual thing the situation will allow. Phlegmatics have been described as slightly lazy - if standing becomes too tiring, they will lean; if leaning becomes too exhausting, they will sit . . . until eventually they are practically laying down!

MELANCHOLY: Here are the deep thinkers. The genius types. They are able to solve problems most of us don't even want to spell! Often times they are creative and artistic. These people buy daily planners and actually use them! Those with a melancholy personality type are very neat and tidy, and they like to live in an orderly and organized environment. Leaving a project undone is not even an option. Friends are made cautiously. They are extremely faithful and devoted friends, and can be moved to tears with compassion. The melancholy types often times will have a very dry sense of humor, but can make you laugh! Emails are always grammatically correct, and they even use spell check. But, these people can be very negative, finding fault in many situations. Irritation arises if things aren't kept up to their standards. Pessimism and depression can plague the melancholy crowd when people and situations don't measure up to their expectations.

CHOLERIC: Here are the leaders! All of the other personality types can learn to lead, but Cholerics just know how to lead. They are goal setters, and set goals for everything. Distractions do not get in the Choleric's way, they just keep moving from A to B. If you don't have an opinion about a certain topic, they will give you one. Patience is not their gift, as they will finish your sentence if you are taking too long. Cholerics are wonderful to have around during an emergency. They either know exactly what to do, or will fool you into thinking that they do! They are extremely energetic and are super multi-taskers. Email has been a life-saver, as it is quicker and easier, and they don't have to waste time chitchatting over the trivial stuff. Cholerics are not easily discouraged, and they can move into action rather quickly. Because of their confidence, these people are great in front of people. But, rather than leading, they often drive people. The can suck the fun out of an activity or project because they are too focused on getting it done quickly. Often times they will step on people and then feelings get hurt. All because their eye is on the prize.

I love this! As I was describing each one, I could see a little bit of me in all of them. I was also trying to determine who my friends are. I've taken this test, or a variation of it, a few times. My results change slightly, but not too much.

This is me in a nutshell:
50% Sanguine
28% Phlegmatic
12% Melancholy
10% Choleric

Girls, it is so important to know who you are. Understand who you are and why! But, even more important - KNOW WHAT OTHERS ARE! Stop looking in the mirror and start looking at your friends. Who are they? What traits do you notice? My girlfriends' names were flying through my head as I was going through this exercise. "Party Chick is totally the life of the party! Champion Chick is completely faithful and devoted. Princess Chick makes friends so easily, and loves to be around people. Warrior Chick is a wonderful listener, and is so compassionate." Understand your friends and value them for who they are!

I know my posts are long. My apologies. I've decided to break Friend Chick into two parts. Tomorrow I will give you the other ten elements for making/maintaining friendships!

champion chick

"Hang in there. Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up." ~ Thomas Edison.

When you hear the word strong, what is the first thing you think of? Holly immediately thought of muscles. We associate muscles with strength because it's a very visual image that we can picture and touch.

However, in order to accomplish all that we are intended to do, we require more than just physical strength. We need spiritual and mental strength to get it all done.

"She girds herself with spiritual, mental, and physical strength for her God-given task, and makes her arms strong and firm." ~ Proverbs 31:17

Remember, we are a force on the earth. It is time that you adopt the characteristics of a Champion Chick!

1 - Champion Chicks are spiritually strong. Good news ladies, you can throw your hand weights out for this one! In order to be spiritually strong, you must, MUST hold on to what you know is true. I can't stress this enough.

With this, though, you must be willing to grow where you need to. I hate to say this, but I believe that you will never be done growing in Christ. Just like every relationship, there will always be areas where you need to grow. Why you ask? Because the relationship is growing and requires you to grow as well! This is a good thing! My wise pastor has continually reminded our church that whatever is healthy will grow. Think about that. If a plant is healthy, it grows. If it has been neglected, like my plant right now, it will be wilty and not growing at all. Relationships are the same way, and so are you, both physically and spiritually.

You also need to love God more than yourself. Read it again, out loud if need be. Your God loves you more than we will ever know on this Earth. And, He longs for you to love Him. Through this love, you will be able to exchange your strength (or lack thereof) for His strength. By loving God, you will be able to love others. Remember, you are an irreplaceable, loved-beyond-measure daughter of the King. By keeping this in your heart, you will be able to love God more than yourself!

Champion Chicks are also continually producing good fruit. I'm not talking about children. I'm talking about your actions and your words. You are a wealth of goodness, and others know this about you.

So, without further ado, how do we do it?

YOU CAN'T DO IT ON YOUR OWN!!!

You weren't created to go out into the wilderness all alone. We're a social breed. We thrive when others around us are lifting us up.

Our Spiritual Strength comes by being connected to the House of God - church.

I was a new Christian when I went to college. I went to a "Christian" college. You know, the kind that is a "dry" campus, but within walking distance to the nearest bar. The one that celebrates Gay and Lesbian Week. The "Christian" college that turned our prayer chapel into an "interdenominational" chapel. WHAT?!?!?! Here I was, armed with my Bible and what I could remember from Summer Camp. I was lost. I had no foundation. I had nothing to stand on and no one to hold me up. I started to church hop, but couldn't find what I was looking for. The longer I looked, the "loster" I got. I really struggled.

My senior year I student taught in Minneapolis, MN. I was determined to plug into a church. I'm an outgoing gal when my friends are with me, but all alone, I tend to blend into the walls. But, off I went. Sunday morning. Back in church. I sat down by myself in the middle of a row near the back. Right before the service began, a couple asked if they could sit next to me. Of course! Absolutely! PLEASE!!! After the service they apologized that they couldn't stay longer, but he had to get to work. Oh, where do you work? I play for the Minnesota Vikings. ARE YOU KIDDING ME??? I loved the Vikings! Before they left, they introduced me to a few other families. Did I go back? You bet! Did my life turn around? Oh yeah! I had people surrounding me with Christ's love.

When I returned for the second semester, I had what I was missing for the past 3 years. I had a foundation. I was able to stand alone, long enough to get plugged into a church back in my tiny college town. Was it everything I wanted it to be? No, but, it was something. Needless to say, I ended my college career with a bang, and back in the saddle!

You will only be a FORCE when you are spiritually strong. LINK your arms with other women and take your place as a Champion! Think of it as a spiritual Care Bear Stare! The Care Bears were useless unless they joined arms, stood tall, and Care Bear Stared at whatever evil force was in their way! Right now I've joined the Early Morning (or 5 AM) Club. 8 ladies, who I don't think know each other except for the comments they've left on the blog posts, are banding together and committing to waking up early and praying for each other. We are also praying for our families, and the needs of our friends and nation, but we are holding each other accountable. We are Care Bear Staring.

2 - Champion Chicks are mentally strong. You need to learn to manage your reactions to stressful situations. Often times our first response is to freak out. Kevin Leman tells us that we need to Respond, not React. You are capable and intelligent. The Lord designed you that way. Use these two attributes to your advantage. THINK before you act.

Again, you must constantly be willing to learn new things. I'm a learning this as a mother. I know that I have not arrived as the greatest mother in all of humanity. Therefore, I like to challenge myself to try new things, or ask my friends what I could do differently to help my daughter and I get through the current situation. Please, don't have a defeatist attitude toward yourself. Pick yourself up and try something new. By learning, you will help cultivate your ability to mentally handle new situations.

You also need to be willing to think new thoughts. Champion Chicks want to learn and grow. We want to be coached. By allowing yourself this, you will know how to improve. Now, just because you ask someone for help in an area does NOT give that person an open door to slam you in every area of your life. Make sure that you are choosy when you ask for someone's opinion or help. This is to help you improve yourself, not sink further into the depths of destruction.

Learn to manage your emotions. We're girls. We've definitely got the right parts to become an emotional wreck! My pregnancy hormones were somewhere off the regular charts. For some it's the PMS. For others, it's just a way of life. Please don't get wrapped up in excuses for your emotional state. Yes, we all have moments where we're just not quite right, but this is not a time for you to be nasty to your friends and family. Buck up! We can't do everything we feel like doing. This doesn't mean that you can't confide in your dearest friend what is going on. This doesn't mean that you lie and say all is well. It means that you are honest. "I'm struggling right now." You don't need to go into detail, but you can at least let your friends know that you're not right.

3 - Champion Chicks are physically strong. Alright, pick up those hand weights. It's time to buff up! Which way to the gun show???

You must have physical strength to exist! Physical strength will help your actual body be strong enough to handle what you should be handling. You need to take care of your body. Watch what you eat! Please know that as I'm writing this, I'm longing for a piece of pie (I love pie!). A donut would suffice...or perhaps just some chocolate. "BE STRONG!" Obviously this is something that I am working on as we speak. Prayer Club, you could put this on my list of prayer needs!

My favorite song right now is "Slow Fade" by Casting Crowns. If you have not listened to the words of this song, you must! It is so true. "Be careful little eyes what you see." It is so important that we guard ourselves with the things that we watch, read, and listen to. You might be alright watching a movie with ladies running around in skimpy bikinis, but I have a feeling that this probably isn't a movie that you want your husband watching. We might not stumble if we listen to certain music on the radio, but do you want these songs filling your kid's hearts? Think about the junk that enters your body.

It is important to keep yourself away from the things that will HINDER you from "running your race" with excellence. So, think about who you spend time with. When I taught, my friend who taught next to me used to tell the little boys with their pants hanging off their little tooshies, "If it looks like a duck and walks like a duck, then it's probably a duck." I've also heard someone say, "Look at your friends and you'll see who you really are." When you spend time with a person, they are leaving their mark on your heart, whether you like it or not.

Please, embrace the destiny that you have been given and the King who gave it to you! He created you to be unique, and He loves what He created. I bet He even puts you up on the refrigerator to show His friends His masterpiece! He takes pride in you.

Hypothetically speaking, let's say hard times hit you. Will you have the strength to get up and even start over if you have to? Where is your strength going to come from? If you are going through a difficult time right now, you can exchange your strength for you Lord and Savior's strength. I promise. He will provide if you ask. If you are not going through a tough time, now is a good time to begin developing your strength by surrounding yourself with a support system, as well as growing your relationship with Christ.

Holly Wagner reminds us not to become easily offended. Just as you make mistakes, I can guarantee you that everyone around you will as well. One of my dear friends told me once that the problem with church is all the people. She's exactly right! We live in our flesh, and we will do something wrong sooner or later. If you are on the receiving end of someone's mistake, please don't get all huffy about it. Remember, WARRIOR CHICKS forgive! Keep your focus on where you are heading. Remember, the King's daughter's have a new identity. Being offended is another hurdle that you will have to get over (this is why it's ultra important to be very bendy).

My Champion Chick's parents went through a horrible ordeal when their son was in a terrible car accident. They weren't sure for weeks if he was going to survive. Apparently, the church they were attending didn't step up and offer to help them through this tragedy. Where are they today? Their son is in rehab, not for his accident, but for his addictions. The mom and dad no longer attend church, and now they are victims of their choices. They were burned, and now they have placed themselves in a position where they will never be burned again.

Please don't be a victim. It is imperative that you get over your past, or whatever your current circumstance is. Bitterness will haunt you, and prevent you from fulfilling God's call on your life. Focus on where you're headed while acknowledging your past. Know where you came from and what you have accomplished, but keep moving forward! YOU ARE A FORCE!

Here's the cold hard truth: You need to break the quitter cycle. Life will become boring or mundane at some time. This doesn't mean that you just quit. Your marriage will also go through a spell where you wonder how long "til death do us part" really means. But, I hope you plugged away at it. Life, marriage, work will all be boring and routine at some point. Again, put your goal in front of you. Move towards it. Even little baby steps forward are better than big steps back.

If you find a goal, and seriously begin the process of reaching it, you will face obstacles. They could be boredom, inconveniences, or difficulties. Wagner liken a goal to childbirth. The end goal is obvious - to get that baby out! But, the process is not always easy. It could be a long day. There could be some inconveniences (like a baby who is facing the wrong direction and causes her mama to be up on her hands and knees for an hour at a time...). There could be difficulties that mean you are going straight to the OR because that baby needs to come out immediately. But, you've got to keep going. You can't stop and say, "I'm done. Let's go home. We'll have a baby later." Sorry sister. You're in to win! You should persevere towards you personal goals in the same way.

What is perseverance? PERSEVERANCE is the ability to continue a course of action in spite of difficulty. Rely on your Champion Chick friends and Care Bear Stare the difficulty right outta there!

I'll leave you with this. God doesn't get glory in what you start - only what you finish. My mom started a Christmas stocking for me when I was in grade school. 20ish years later, I have yet to enjoy my stocking. Wagner reminds us that there are amazing women who have come before us. We have grown from their victories and learned from their mistakes. Don't deny the Champion Chicks to come the opportunity to learn from you. Don't drop the baton girls!

warrior chick

"Put on your sword, powerful warrior...
Win the victory for what is true and right.
Your power will do amazing things."
Psalm 45:3-4

I'm sure many of you have read about the Proverbs 31 woman. If you read through it too quickly, you may interpret this "virtuous woman" as being too quiet, weak, wimpy. You know, one of those ladies who sews, cooks, knits, and gets the laundry washed and folded all in one day. The first few times I read through this chapter, I had a really difficult time relating to this woman. I would close my Bible feeling like more of a failure.

Holly Wagner paints a much clearer picture of this Proverbs 31 woman. Do you know what the word virtuous means? The actual definition for virtuous is: "a force on the earth consisting of three things: people, means, and resource."

Whoa! My whole world turned upside down! This woman isn't sitting on a stool in the kitchen, crocheting baby blankets, she's a warrior! A force to be reckoned with! Warriors ride on triumphantly for the cause of truth, mercy, and justice. We are working for a cause bigger than ourselves!

So, here we are, princess warriors! Move over, Zena, God's Chicks are taking over!

The Warrior Princess has many qualities that make her a good soldier:

1 - She has COURAGE - too many of us hold on to our fear. What good does fear do for you? The answer is easy! ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! Let me tell you sister, I am famous for fears. I am plagued with hearing noises in my house. It is so bad that I wake up nearly every night hearing the sounds of someone breaking into my home. I have not slept soundly in about 5 years. I have heard gun shots, a car crashing into our house, and someone drilling a hole through our door so they can unlock it and let themselves in. It sounds ridiculous, and I'm fine all day long, but as soon as all of the lights are out, I struggle. It seems to be getting better. When I wake up, I immediately begin to pray. What else can I do? I ask for God's protection and peace. Although I'm still waking up, my Lord is so faithful. He calms my fears and allows me to fall back asleep! I know that I need to blast through this fear, because if I succumb to it, the pit will just get deeper, and my fears will begin to consume my entire life. Plus, the fears that I carry with me will begin to affect my daughter. And believe me, I want more for her than what I fear.

Don't misunderstand what I am saying. It's okay to be scared. But, when your fear begins to paralyze you and prevent you from pursuing and fulfilling God's purpose in your life, then it's a problem. Some of our very favorite Bible ladies were afraid. Look at Deborah and Esther. The difference is that these ladies did not become consumed by their fears. They ROSE above their fears in order to do great things!

"She gets up while it is still dark" ~Proverbs 31:15

To "get up" is to "rise". I always translated this verse very literally. "Get up early. Get up before the sun." However, Holly challenges us to look at this verse a little closer.

"Rise while it's dark." She challenges her readers to understand that dark is not necessarily referring to the time before the sun comes up, but instead to see it as "dark times". When you are suffering or are afraid, RISE out of the darkness! That gives me hope and freedom!

2 - She offers forgiveness - Hmm, who just felt the conviction? I don't know about you, but I try really hard to be a forgiver, but I know that there are certain areas that I just want to hang onto! I feel vindicated by refusing to forgive. And I call myself one of God's Chicks. I assure you all, I am working really hard on searching my heart for places where I need to forgive. I was really struggling to forgive a family member for the past year. My heart was so heavy, and I wasn't able to be myself. I wasn't hurting this other person, only myself. After I finally said to myself, "ENOUGH! Get over it. Move on. Forgive and move forward," I feel so good. Back to my old self. I really felt as though such a heavy burden was lifted right off of my shoulders!

The kicker about forgiveness is that you will rarely, if ever, feel like forgiving. You really have to WILL yourself to forgive. It's not natural for us to want to offer forgiveness to those who have hurt us or hurt someone that we love. But, we are commanded to forgive. Colassians 3:13 says, "Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you." There it is. Your relationships will grow on forgiveness not perfection. All of us, at one time or another, will require forgiveness because we operate in the flesh.

I will tell you, be cautious about who you open yourself up to. I'm sure most of you have learned this lesson already, but there are certain people who can not be trusted with your personal business. This doesn't mean that you can't be friendly with these people, but you must be careful not to share too much. You need to learn from your mistakes. You can't blame others for the mistake that you made, no matter how much it hurt you. This is where you're going to have to WILL yourself to forgive this person and move on. You need to set boundaries for yourself so that you do not let this happen again. However, an unhealthy boundary is to close yourself off completely. You need to have people that you can confide in. I have three close friends that I can share almost anything with. I have a mom who is amazing. And I have a wonderful husband who is like Fort Knox! Once you tell him something, he locks it up in a vault, never to be discussed with anyone else. He still refuses to tell me that Party Chick is pregnant with the child that she birthed 5 years ago, because he never got the go ahead from her husband to let anyone know that they were expecting. A little extreme, but I also know that he is safe.

3 - Stay at your post - Great soldiers stay where they were assigned. I just finished watching Band of Brothers. If you have not had the opportunity to watch this film, I highly recommend it! I have more appreciation for my grandpas and other WWII vets than ever before. One of the things that I took away from this movie is that these soldiers stayed put. If they were assigned to be in their fox holes, they stayed in their fox holes, no matter what was raining down upon them.

I have multiple posts. Wife Post, Mom Post, Daughter Post, Sister Post, Friend Post, etc. If my husband and I have an argument, I am not leaving my Wife Post with another man. I stand by my man! If my daughter does something completely out of line, I don't drop her off in Nebraska and leave her there just because she disappointed me. I try to use that mistake as a lesson. You must stay where you have been assigned!

4 - She is willing to die for the cause - Say what!?!?! Ladies, we are living in uncertain times. Now, more than ever, you must know what you believe, why you believe it, and know without a shadow of a doubt that you are right. We believe in a God who sent His son to save us from our sins. He was crucified for you. He suffered for you. He loves you! We've all heard John 3:16 over and over again, but listen to this. "God loved, God gave, We believe, We receive." Andy Stanley gave this version in a video that I watched in Sunday School a few weeks ago. He told us that God loved us. What do you do when you love someone? You give them something. God gave us Jesus. Why did he give us Jesus? So that we would believe in Him. Why do we need to believe in Him? So that we could receive Him into our hearts. So easy! And yet, we make it so hard.

I don't know what the future holds for any of us, but I do know that I would be willing to lay my life down for this cause. I would rather make that choice, than pervert my morals and values.

5 - A Warrior Chick respects authority - Gulp! Many of us live in the world of thought that our ego is sacred. Newsflash! It's not! Be the first one willing to lay aside your rights and desires in order to achieve the greater good, Wagner tells her readers. Say "sorry" first. Love your enemies. Tell the truth. Stay committed to the righteous path. Respect others! This is not easy, but can be done. You will gain more by respecting those in authority to you, than to try to undermine them.

6 - Know there will be battles to fight - Don't ignore differences in opinions. Handle the disagreements that come your way. And believe me, they will come during the most inopportune times. Swallow your pride and deal with the situation, but be respectful. I would venture to say that somewhere around 9 times out of 10, disagreements arise out of a tiny misunderstanding. For my husband and me, it's usually 10 out of 10. Communication is one of those areas that we are constantly working on. I don't read the non verbals too well, and he doesn't use his words (spoken like a true teacher). Put those together, and we end up with a problem. We're only in year 3, so we've still got plenty of time to figure this all out, but we both recognize that there probably was a misunderstanding somewhere along the way. You need to be prepared to fix the problem, not cast blame. Don't go crying to your girlfriend every time you have an argument with your spouse. You need to woMAN up. Take some alone time if you need to, but go to the source. And, eliminate the verbal weapons. These never help to remedy a situation. I'm sure you don't arm your children with names to call their peers should someone call them a name. "Okay, if she calls you a poo-poo face, then you call her a doody head!" We may have new names in our pockets as adults, but the end result is the same.

The Warrior Chick is one of the most complex, and she has many different facets, but she is also so amazing! Practice these 6 qualities in your own life. You will be amazed at how good you feel!

princess chick

"All glorious is the princess within her chamber; her gown in interwoven with gold." - Psalm 45

"Once upon a time" - the famous words that begin our fairytale called "Life". Eventually, it will end with "Happily ever after". The in-between is the unknown, and that can be the scary part.

I love to read novels and biographies from the Elizabethan times. It's fascinating to me! I must admit, I rely on the family trees, because I lost track of who's related to who and how.

WE are children of God. "You are the children of the Lord your God." - Deuteronomy 14:1

The Lord is our King. "God, the blessed and only Ruler, the King of kings and Lord of lords." - 1 Timothy 6:15

Going back to the family trees of Elizabeth I, the daughter of the king was a princess!

YOU are a wonderful, beautiful daughter of the King! Regardless of your past, your Heavenly Father loves you for who you are. He calls you "mine" ("Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine." - Isaiah 43:1).

Holly Wagner takes a story in Ezekiel that is actually an allegory of Jerusalem, and adapts it to our lives. She uses Ezekiel 16 to help illustrate her tale.

"Perhaps when you were born, no one loved you. Perhaps you were abandoned and uncared for on the day of your birth. Maybe no one had compassion on you, and maybe you were even hated.

"And then in the midst of the pain, your Creator, your Father, comes along and encourages you to live. He commands you to live. He is not afraid of the messes that may surround your life ... He steps right into them. Then He causes you to grow, to thrive, to mature. He says that He causes your hair to grow and your breasts to mature. (Well ... some of us anyway!!!) He loves you and enters into a covenant with you ... and then He calls you Mine.

"Then He washes you clean from your past and anoints you for your future. He cloths you in embroidered cloth and puts sandals of badger on your feet. He continues to dress you in linen and silk. (Truth is - jeans and a t-shirt would have been fine. But not for our Father. No ... He want to dress us like royalty. He sees us as deserving the best.)

"Then He adorns you with ornaments and bracelets. He puts earrings on your ears and a jewel in your nose. Then He puts a crown on your head!
(This section was from God Chicks, pages 20 and 21)

Think about how a princess looks. She stands tall, holds her head high. She walks the "princess" walk. Her appearance in and of itself demands respect. She does not hang her head in shame. She does not sulk around. If you've got a crown around the house somewhere, put it on. I have been known to vacuum and mop with mine on. There's just something about a tiara that makes you feel special.

This brings me to the part that many royals forget. The purpose of royalty is to serve their people. Let me say it again. Royals are to SERVE others. They were to protect the people that they ruled. It seems that this little detail has been forgotten. I am not a princess to be served, but to serve.

So, ask yourself right now. Do you live your life like a PRINCESS, the daughter of the King? Remember that your King is completely and totally in love with you. He cares about you. He wants you to thrive. He is there to cleanse and restore you.

just b u chick

In order to define what God's Chicks are, I will be referencing the book, God Chicks, by Holly Wagner. I wish I was clever enough to come up with this by myself, but I'm afraid I must give credit where credit is due. Thank you, Holly, for inspiring me!

According to Mrs. Wagner, we often time don't know who we are, so we find others that we want to emulate. By doing this, however, we are sacrificing pieces of our own uniqueness, just to be like them. We are denying God the privilege of watching us grow into the women that He so creatively made us to be. Holly wonders if God feels a slap in the face when we refuse to be who He made us to be?

Sooner of later, our Father in Heaven will chuckle at you, just like you might laugh at one of your children when they try to dress and act like another person. God longs for you to be just who you are. You are perfect to Him, and really, that is all that matters. We need to stop letting our jobs, friends, family, and culture define who we are, and start letting the One who made us, help us find ourselves. The Lord will empower you when you are comfortable being who you are!

Holly explains to her readers that it is important to learn from the ladies who have gone before you. They possess much wisdom, because, although it may not be obvious to you, they have probably lived through similar situations, and can help you through your difficult times. My mentor, Warrior Chick, has been a God-given treasure for me. She always makes time for me, even though she's busy raising 3 teenage boys!

I can remember having a chick-chat session with Princess Chick, and we agreed that the wise ladies in our church seemed a little dry, frownie, and so quiet. We weren't sure we wanted to turn into that, as we are relatively full of life and not so quiet! GOOD NEWS!!! You don't need to don the pantyhose (Spanx fall into a different category than pantyhose), the frown, and the silence to be a successful God Chick!

All you can do ladies is to be you. I can't stress this enough. Please, don't compare yourself to other ladies. Champion Chick is one of my dearest friends. She is tall and slender. She is a wonderful mother. Party Chick is so full of life and fun! She challenges everyone to enjoy life and live it to the fullest! Princess Chick is in control. She knows what she wants, and doesn't care what the world around her thinks. If I compared myself to these girls, and tried to be them, I would be missing who I was. I wouldn't be content, because I would always be working so hard to be someone that I wasn't. Plus, I wouldn't feel good about me. Embrace the fact that you will never be these other girls. All you can strive for is to be a better you!

I taught elementary school before I had my daughter. When I taught 5th grade, I had the wonderful job of teaching the girls about human reproduction. I really just had a few overheads that showed the kids all of our parts and explained what they were. The next day, I threw up the overhead of the "different breed". Imagine having a 5 foot penis behind you, and 40 wide-eyed 5th grade girls in front of you ... I'm just giving you a moment to process this. Are you glad this wasn't you? I actually enjoyed this part of the year. We never spoke the word "sex" or "intercourse", or anything that went along with it. This time was just to help the girls understand their bodies, and expose (I use this word lightly) to the differences between girls and boys. The last day, we watched a video about how a baby develops - beginning when the egg and sperm meet. Okay, all this to say that every year one of my little girls would tell me that she was an accident.

Ladies - We serve a God who make NO mistakes! HE intended that YOU be here, regardless of the surprise your parents may have felt, our Lord was not surprised at all. Jeremiah 1:5 - "Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart..." and Luke 12:7 - "Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows."

Alright, in order to discover your purpose, you need to do a few things.
1 - Realize that this is a process. You probably will not wake up in the morning, fully aware of who you are and what your purpose is. But, if you do, please let me know!

2 - Think about how you want to be remembered. A youth pastor of mine used to remind us that we are living in the dash. The illustration that he used was a headstone. They give a name, perhaps if that person was someone's wife or mother or daughter, and the date this person was born with only a dash separating this date from the date this person passed away. What are you doing with your dash? How will people remember you?

3 - What do you need to accomplish this? What resources are you lacking? What do you need to work on? What can you do to better who YOU are?

Think about what you love. Set a purpose. Create a goal that has to do with your purpose &/or passion.

I love to sing.

It is not my gift.

It is Lover Chick's gift.

Lover Chick's gifts & talents will not help me fulfill my purpose. Coveting her gifts will not get me anywhere, so I don't want them. My gifts and talents will bless the Lord when I use them, just as much as Lover Chick's song.

I leave you with this:
Learn to laugh at yourself. Obviously God has a sense of humor, and we should too!

Next on the docket: The Princess Chick