friend chick - part 1

"It's better to have a friend than go it alone. Share the work; share the wealth. And if one falls down, the other helps. But if there is no one to help, tough! By yourself you're unprotected; with a friend you can face the worst." ~ Ecclesiastes 4:9 - 12 (The Message).

THANK GOD FOR GIRLFRIENDS!!! Can I get an amen!?!?

It's so obvious that we are meant to have friends. The One who created us in His image has so perfectly wired us to need each other. These friendships that you build are crucial to your happiness and your success in this life. God knows this. He wants us to have friendships and relationships!

Making friends may be difficult for some of you. The hardest part is reaching out. Remember that friendships require two willing participants. It's tricky to be a true friend to someone who you've never spoken with. Just as we need to be in communication with our Lord, you must also communicate with your friends. If you are shy, this doesn't mean that you need to get up in someone's face on Sunday and announce to her that you would like to be her friend. Perhaps you start slow. Make eye contact and smile. Initiate a conversation, or even just a hello. I challenge you to make the first move. If you sit back and wait for someone to come to you, who knows how long you'll have to sit there? Be bold!

Holly Wagner explains that there are four attributes or characteristics of friendship.
1 - Friendships are an avenue of hope.
2 - Friendships are a place of inspiration.
3 - Friendships provide laughter when you need it.
4 - Friendships offer prayer when you are in need of a miracle.

So my friends (how very John McCain of me...), how do you make friends? Holly gives eleven ways of making and maintaining good friendships.

1 - Show acceptance in spite of differences.
We are all different, and thankfully so. Could you imagine if we were all identical? Hello Stepford Wives! The world would be so boring! What would the Body of Christ look like? If we were all had the gift of teaching, then who would serve?

"Just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, so in Christ we who are many form one body, and each member belongs to all the others. We have different gifts according to the grace given us. If a man's gift if prophesying, let him use it in proportion to his faith. If it is serving, let him serve; if it is encouraging, let him encourage; if it is contributing to the needs of others, let him give generously; if it is leadership, let him govern diligently; if it is showing mercy, let him do it cheerfully." ~ Romans 11:4 - 8

See, it's good to be different. Hippocrates (hip-pok-ru-teez), a Greek physician about 400 years before Christ, identified four basic personality types. They are Sanguine, Phlegmatic, Melancholy, and Choleric. If you click here, you can take a quick personality test, and it will give you the results. I'm going to define each type (based on Holly Wagner's definitions), and will tell you what percentage I was in each category.

SANGUINE: A "party-waiting-to-happen". These people are "confetti-in-a-bottle" people! They are lively and energetic, and they can talk to anyone at anytime. Often times these people can be found in the middle of the party. Everything about them is open and moving - mouth, hands, eyes! They use big gestures and laugh frequently and loudly. Sanguines make friends easily, and love being with people. Dull moments are few and far between. But, with all this fun-loving, livin' up life attributes, there are a few downfalls to the Sanguine. They tend to suffer from Foot-in-Mouth disease (I call it word vomit). They tend to dominate conversations and don't stop to think about what is coming out of their mouth (and spewing all over their neighbor). Often times Sanguines are disorganized and forgetful - they buy planners because they look good, or match something. They are superstar starters, but failure finishers. The biggie is that they can be motivated by feelings rather than reality.

PHLEGMATIC: These are the Chameleons, in that they can become whatever is necessary in any given situation. They are not extremely anything. Phlegmatics are generally easygoing and relaxed, peaceful and agreeable. They make wonderful listeners and are very compassionate toward others and their problems. But, they can be unenthusiastic and indecisive. These people are set in their ways, and not super excited about going a different direction. Instead of dolling-up, Phlegmatics will choose to wear the most casual thing the situation will allow. Phlegmatics have been described as slightly lazy - if standing becomes too tiring, they will lean; if leaning becomes too exhausting, they will sit . . . until eventually they are practically laying down!

MELANCHOLY: Here are the deep thinkers. The genius types. They are able to solve problems most of us don't even want to spell! Often times they are creative and artistic. These people buy daily planners and actually use them! Those with a melancholy personality type are very neat and tidy, and they like to live in an orderly and organized environment. Leaving a project undone is not even an option. Friends are made cautiously. They are extremely faithful and devoted friends, and can be moved to tears with compassion. The melancholy types often times will have a very dry sense of humor, but can make you laugh! Emails are always grammatically correct, and they even use spell check. But, these people can be very negative, finding fault in many situations. Irritation arises if things aren't kept up to their standards. Pessimism and depression can plague the melancholy crowd when people and situations don't measure up to their expectations.

CHOLERIC: Here are the leaders! All of the other personality types can learn to lead, but Cholerics just know how to lead. They are goal setters, and set goals for everything. Distractions do not get in the Choleric's way, they just keep moving from A to B. If you don't have an opinion about a certain topic, they will give you one. Patience is not their gift, as they will finish your sentence if you are taking too long. Cholerics are wonderful to have around during an emergency. They either know exactly what to do, or will fool you into thinking that they do! They are extremely energetic and are super multi-taskers. Email has been a life-saver, as it is quicker and easier, and they don't have to waste time chitchatting over the trivial stuff. Cholerics are not easily discouraged, and they can move into action rather quickly. Because of their confidence, these people are great in front of people. But, rather than leading, they often drive people. The can suck the fun out of an activity or project because they are too focused on getting it done quickly. Often times they will step on people and then feelings get hurt. All because their eye is on the prize.

I love this! As I was describing each one, I could see a little bit of me in all of them. I was also trying to determine who my friends are. I've taken this test, or a variation of it, a few times. My results change slightly, but not too much.

This is me in a nutshell:
50% Sanguine
28% Phlegmatic
12% Melancholy
10% Choleric

Girls, it is so important to know who you are. Understand who you are and why! But, even more important - KNOW WHAT OTHERS ARE! Stop looking in the mirror and start looking at your friends. Who are they? What traits do you notice? My girlfriends' names were flying through my head as I was going through this exercise. "Party Chick is totally the life of the party! Champion Chick is completely faithful and devoted. Princess Chick makes friends so easily, and loves to be around people. Warrior Chick is a wonderful listener, and is so compassionate." Understand your friends and value them for who they are!

I know my posts are long. My apologies. I've decided to break Friend Chick into two parts. Tomorrow I will give you the other ten elements for making/maintaining friendships!