Check Yourself Before You Wreck Yourself...

I cannot even begin to imagine why the book of Nehemiah doesn't end on a high note with chapter 12.  The Jewish people totally rallied, repented, and recommitted themselves to God.  They joyfully dedicated the Wall to the Lord.  They had been redeemed and recognized how good and faithful God had been.

So what changes in chapter 13?  What's the difference?  How can these people who had been in great distress, spending hours in confession of their sins and then joyfully offering praises to God now be committing the same sins they had recently confessed and repented of, even making a binding agreement to God?

But while all this was going on, I was not in Jerusalem, for in the thirty-second year of Artaxerxes king of Babylon I had returned to the king.

Nehemiah 13:6

Nehemiah was a brilliant and passionate leader.  He was more than ordinary.  He was faithful in prayer and fasting.  He knew when to ask for help and when to assign specific tasks.  He wasn't afraid to intercede for others and ask God for help and wisdom.  He was selfless and caring, and was a good and godly leader.  Nehemiah was wise when responding to his enemies, and was determined in the midst of public threat and intimidation.  He was bold, and without demanding it, he had earned a great deal of respect from those living in and around Jerusalem.  And people followed his lead.

But he was out of town.  And as the saying goes, "when the cat's away, the mice will play..."

This is not the only reference to this kind of behavior recorded in the Bible.  You might recall a similar incident in the book of Exodus when Moses is having a little one-on-one time with the Lord whilst receiving the Ten Commandments, only to return from the mountain top to find his people worshipping a golden calf...

Why is this?

My take-away: Too often we depend on our leaders to take care of our spiritual lives.  We want our pastors to preach the right message on Sunday morning so that we can "make it through" the week.  But we may or may not pick up our Bibles Monday through Saturday for our own personal study.  And if our pastor is gone, we might skip church too.  We don't own our spiritual growth.

But that's not the deal.  I cannot depend on anyone else to keep me accountable to my God.  I have to take responsibility for my actions and my thoughts.  I need to invest in my own relationship with God.  I have to be in His Word - knowing and understanding what it says.  I need to seek God and what He wants not only from me, but for me as well.  I can't rely on a pastor or Bible Study leader or a friend or my husband to be responsible for me - because if they are the only reason I serve God, then when they are gone, or not looking, or fail - I probably won't continue serving Him.  Why would I?  I'm not grounded in my relationship.  It was more of a show for my amazing leader.  I was not personally invested.

But in the end, if that is the way I live - living life to impress people and not actually living my life for God - then I am only hurting myself and God.  And I will go on serving myself...

For everyone looks out for their own interests, not those of Jesus Christ.

Philippians 2:21

Nehemiah gets all kinds of real in chapter 13, doesn't it?  It is when we have to check ourselves.  Who am I serving and why?  It's not too late to confess, repent, and ask for forgiveness.  You can still recommit your life to God and be your own passionate leader!

                                                This morning I am joining other women as we reflect on Nehemiah 13 at She Reads Truth.