Final Thoughts on Jonah

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The following is a post I wrote in 2014 and have edited for today. I am far from the woman who wrote these words, and yet, they still ring true for me today. To read the original post, click here.

Jonah was a prophet of the Lord in the Old Testament (before Jesus). His job was to reveal God's words to the people and kings of Israel - which was usually bad news of their disobedience and God's anger and punishment. But Jonah was given a new job opportunity to deliver God's message to an extremely evil city in what is now Iraq. Jonah was none-to-thrilled about his new assignment and thought he would outwit and outrun God by heading in the opposite direction toward today's Spain. Jonah could not imagine a world where God would extend His mercy and grace to the people who actually deserved it. He did not want to witness this scene and he did NOT want his good name attached to it. 

But God had different plans. And as is His way, God showed mercy and grace on His disobedient prophet, which Jonah was abundantly grateful for, until he realized God had not eased up on Plan A. God still expected Jonah to head off to Nineveh. And Jonah knew what God would do if the people were sorry. And he held onto his anger and bitterness and resentment.

But Jonah was greatly displeased and became angry. He prayed to the Lord..."I knew that you are a gracious and compassionate God, slow to anger and abounding in love, a God who relents from sending calamity."

Jonah 4:1-2

This reminds me of another angry and bitter and resentful man that Jesus spoke about in one of His parables (an illustrated story His listeners could relate to).

"The older brother became angry...So his father went out and pleaded with him. But he answered his father, "Look! All these years I've been slaving for you and never disobeyed your orders. Yet you never gave me a young goat so I could celebrate with my friends. But when this son of yours who has squandered your property with prostitutes comes home, you kill the fattened calf for him.""

Luke 15:28-30

Do you notice the similarities between Jonah in chapter 4 and the Prodigal Son's brother in Luke 15? Their stories leading up to the end are not the same. Jonah disobeyed his Father while the "Brother" stayed home and was obedient to his father.

But their stories become very similar as soon as their Father/father responds to the lost and disobedient ones that return with repentance and begging for forgiveness, hoping that the Father/father will respond with compassion. Both the Ninevites and the Prodigal Son humbled themselves before their Father/father. Jonah and the brother watched as their Father/father displayed an extraordinary act of mercy and grace upon those who had wandered away from Him/him. And their rage and disgust built up inside.

As soon as the boys understood that the Father/father had shown mercy to the "sinners," they are both described as becoming "ANGRY." They had either watched their father mourn the loss of his son, or heard the Father express His own anger and plan to completely do away with the nation that had hurt Him so deeply. And then this...a complete turn around in love and forgiveness!

I look at these stories of Jonah and the "Brother" and immediately compare them to the Pharisees, which is exactly who the "Brother" was meant to represent in this Parable that Jesus told in Luke. All three of these "characters" are judgmental and too worried about the rules and the law. They want to see justice served to those who deserve it. And, God is a just God; so when He dishes out love and mercy and compassion and forgiveness, it is almost shocking to stand by and watch NOTHING happen!

And I JUDGE these "characters" with my big heart that knows God's love and mercy and compassion and forgiveness...I JUDGE them thinking, "You don't get it." And I JUDGE those around me. I would be lying if I said that I have never felt like God didn't dole out the punishment like I thought He should. I have sat in the judgement seat more often than I'd like to admit. I see injustice and I want it set right! A modern day Super Girl right here! My God and I will right the wrongs of the world! But when I do this, I am missing the point...I don't get it...

"...I do not judge him. For I did not come to judge the world, but to save it."

John 12:47

Whether I judge the "characters" in these stories or the real people in my life, I become like Jonah. And then my Father must set me down and say:

...Should I not be concerned about...:

your neighbors?

your enemies?

those who annoy you?

those who have hurt you?

those in darkness?

the lost?

the lonely?

the broken?

the sinners? 

Jonah 4:11

Jesus did not come to judge, he came to save.  Our God is a God of second, twenty-second, and seventy-second chances! And we are oh so thankful when we are the recipients of His great mercy. But watching someone else, who in our eyes, has no business being forgiven, becomes tough! So we must trust that God knows what He is doing. We must allow God to discipline His children in His way. And how would we know if the one He's forgiving might not become someone great in His Kingdom. All the Bible Greats were great sinners.  Abraham, Moses, David, Solomon, Peter, Paul...and not "little church lady sins." These boys did it "right!" And these are men we respect enough to follow what their words and stories teach us.

Whether we like it or not, we are not meant to dispense judgement on others. Very clearly Jesus laid out our job for us here: "Love God. Love others." It's not easy, but it's not impossible if we lean into Jesus and let God be God.

What Breaks Your Heart?

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(Read Jonah 4)

I have been asked this question several time over the past few months:

What breaks your heart?

And if I'm honest, sometimes it feels a little intimidating to answer that question. There are so many things that bring me to tears (I'm a crier - it's not difficult). But the things that truly break my heart are becoming more and more clear to me as I lean in.

Jonah was all over the place as far as his emotions and feelings were concerned. He was rebellious and disobedient in Chapter One - but God was merciful. He was thankful in Chapter Two - and God was compassionate. Jonah was reluctantly obedient in Chapter Three - and God was relenting - but not to Jonah. And here we are in Chapter Four, where Jonah is "displeased" and "exceedingly" "angry" - and the Lord questions Jonah's motives and his heart.

For the first time in Chapter Four we see Jonah show concern for something other than himself. I have always read Jonah's interaction with the shade plant that whithered as Jonah's own selfishness about no longer having shade because it had died.

But today I read it as Jonah having concern over the plant perishing - like he was sad for the plant.

Why does this change my interpretation of these last few verses in Jonah?

Because all of a sudden, Jonah actually allows himself to become heartbroken over something. He finally shows sorrow, concern, and compassion, but it is toward a plant that existed for less than 24 hours. And yet, his heart remained hardened toward the 120,000 lives that lived in the "great" city of Nineveh. He cared more about revenge and condemnation and retribution for this evil and wicked city than about their radical repentance over God's compassion for them.

Jonah basically says to the Lord, "I KNEW you would relent! You are too gracious and merciful. You are too slow to become angry with those who deserve your wrath. You are too loving. And because of that, those Ninevites won't get the punishment they deserve. These sinners break your heart, but you kill an innocent plant!" (my paraphrase).

I'm quite certain, in this irrational moment, Jonah must have forgotten his own prayer of thanksgiving from inside the belly of the fish just a few days prior, thanking God for His mercy and sparing his life - even though Jonah had fled in disobedience and had done absolutely nothing to deserve God's mercy.

And now Jonah pleads with God for death to come and carry him away because God would not carry out His wrath on the city of Nineveh.

And this is where it gets personal for me. Over the past eighteen or so months, God has revealed something to me.

I live in Nineveh.

In the five miles around me there are about 300,000 people - and 276,000 of them do not know Jesus or have walked away from a better life with Him - and unlike Jonah, this breaks my heart.

Because the Lord loves them. He wants them to turn their hearts to Him, just as He wanted Nineveh to turn their hearts to Him. And He has placed the 8% of His followers where we are on purpose and with a purpose.

And now we all have a choice.

Will we choose to love our neighbor where they are?

Will we choose to love our enemy as they are?

Will we choose to be bold and dauntless?

Will we choose to leave the safety of the church and go out among the lost and lonely?

Will we choose to trust God and shine and reflect His light into the darkness all around us?

Will we choose to sacrifice some of our desires and preferences to create a space for the lost and broken to feel safe and welcome and expected and loved?

Jonah's dilemma was not an isolated event. Throughout history God has strategically called His followers to actually "go and make disciples." This has often times been met with "Jonah-like" responses - disobedience, fear, and rebellion. But, even as Jonah admitted from the belly of the fish - God is always with us. He will never leave us or forsake us. His love endures forever.

What breaks your heart?
Where is God calling you to trust and go?
How is God revealing to you what breaks His heart?
Who is God allowing you to come alongside with and love right where they are?
What will you do? Will you run away or will you respond and obey?
It is your choice.

BE BOLD!!! BE BRAVE!!! TRUST!!! OBEY!!!

Choose your Nineveh! Choose people over preferences. Choose God's cause over your comfort.

Second Chances

Photo Credit: She Reads Truth

"Mercy is not a matter of merit; it is God's gift."

Rebecca Faires

(Read Jonah 3)

God was determined to have His message delivered to Nineveh, and He was determined to have it delivered by Jonah. God could have permitted Jonah to drown in the sea. He could have allowed Jonah to be digested by the fish. But, instead, God chose to give Jonah mercy - to give Jonah a second chance. He spoke to Jonah again, recommissioning him to bring God's message of destruction to the evil city of Nineveh. And this time Jonah went - he complied with God's will, but that does not mean his compliance was from his heart.

Why Jonah?
Why give him a second chance?
Why warn the city of the destruction their evil ways had led them to? 
Why show mercy to this wayward prophet, who even when he obeys, was still hardhearted?
Why relent from the disaster that city certainly deserved?

Because God's ways are not our ways - we cannot fully understand why He does what He does and we are not meant to. God is merciful (Jonah 4:2). He had mercy on His disobedient prophet. He showed mercy to the Ninevites who repented and cried out to the Lord. And He shows mercy to you and me every single day - Every. Single. Day.

This story is a little bit about a proud and judgemental prophet; a little bit about an evil city who heeded the warnings of the prophet; and a lot about the God who showed mercy and forgiveness to both.

 I know I probably spend most of my days tottering between a Jonah mindset - grateful for God's mercy for me, but horrified that He would give it so freely to the worst of the worst - and the Ninevites who, once made aware of their sinful ways, and God's impending destruction, turned completely from the sins that tore them away from God, and wondered if He might have mercy on them (Jonah 3:9).

Jonah knew God well enough to understood that if the people recognized their sin and wrong doing, God would relent from the disaster and destruction. Jonah tried to prevent God from showing His mercy by running from God and away from his call. What would have happened if Jonah had run and never turned back to the Lord? I think one of two things: 1)God would have raised up another prophet who would carry His message to Nineveh, or 2)God would have destroyed Nineveh and none of the people would have known why, or given glory to God.

When we run from God and His call, we are not the only ones who suffer. His purpose for our lives is not just for our benefit. He has created this intertwining tapestry, and will pull us into the lives of others for different reasons. Sometimes we don't even know God is using us in certain ways, and sometimes He makes it quite clear. But regardless, when we walk away from His call in self-preservation and selfish ambition, ignoring His desires for us, other people are affected.

And just as God is willing to give us a second chance (or a 485th chance), we must understand that He is just as willing to give someone else another chance. He is merciful and loving. He wants every single one to come to Him. And this is why Jesus came to us - to shepherd all of us back to the Father.

What are you running from?
What breaks your heart?

Who is affected by your disobedience?

"The story of Nineveh's repentance is about God's perfect patience, His deep mercy, and His profound forgiveness." - Rebecca Faires

Sitting in the Pit

Photo Credit: She Reads Truth

(Read Jonah 2)

Author A.W. Tozer says, "In every generation, the people who have found God have been those who have come to the end of themselves. Recognizing their hopelessness, they have been ready to throw themselves on the mercy and grace of a forgiving God."

I am not one who seeks out trouble or thrills. I definitely do not look for tough times and trials. I prefer an even keeled life without falling into the pits and the darkness. But from my own experiences, it is in the pit - in the desert - in the darkness - that I experience God more intimately than I do from the safety and security of the easy days.

I have a feeling Jonah may have had second thoughts about urging the sailors to hurl him into the sea if he had known on the boat that he would end up in the belly of a fish. But had Jonah remained on the boat, he would have missed out on God's incredible display of mercy and grace! Once inside the fish, Jonah had some time to think and reflect about what he had just experienced - about what the Lord had just done for him - the rebel prophet. And for the first time since this story began, Jonah prayed to God.

What I find so fascinating about Jonah's prayer is that he was not asking for deliverance from the inside of the fish, which, if I'm honest, would probably be the very first thing I would have bellowed out to God! He was not begging for help or even asking why. Instead, Jonah was praising God and thanking Him for rescuing him from certain death - even if his rescue could still result in his death.

Jonah realized this: "Death is not the worst-case scenario; life without God is" (Kaitlin Wernet).

Let that sit for a minute.

Jonah had taken off as soon as he realized that God was asking him to do something he absolutely did not want to do - go to Nineveh and call out their sins against the Lord. And yet, here he sat, in the belly of the fish that the Lord had appointed, gratefully thanking God. Jonah had called out to the Lord, and not only did the Lord hear his prayer, but He answered him (v.2). "Jonah had done nothing to deserve being rescued; his salvation was by grace alone (ESV text note).

Jonah had not confessed or repented of his selfish actions. He was not interceding on behalf of the pagan sailors or the people in Nineveh. He does admit that "Salvation belongs to the Lord" (v.9), but he has yet to extend these thoughts beyond himself. He still did not understand that God's desire was not only to have grace and mercy on Jonah - or those Jonah deemed worthy of God's grace and mercy. God's desire then and now is that all people would turn to Him and away from the sin in their lives. He wants ALL people - to the ends of the earth - to know and confess that He is the One True God - that we would all recognize, even from the depths of despair, that life with Jesus is better than life without Jesus.

God chose to give Jonah mercy - not giving Jonah what he deserved. And God chose to give Jonah grace - giving him forgiveness that Jonah did not deserve and could never deserve. He had chosen Jonah to speak in Nineveh, and He was willing to extend His hand of mercy to Jonah to show His faithfulness and kindness. And sometimes we end up in the darkness of a figurative fish belly before we can fully see the magnitude of the Lord's graciousness.

I am learning to be thankful for the fact that God does not lay before me a timeline of crisis for me to study because I know I would attempt to steer my life around those moments, staying safe, but missing the blessing of God's grace and His presence in the midst of the moment.

That's the thing about God - He brings us to those places that we would never choose to go ourselves. He challenges us and stretches us to see beyond ourselves. He brings us to the places where we have to make tough choices - where we either lean on our own strength, or finally tap into His.

Arise, Go

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“Arise, go to Nineveh, that great city, and call out against it, for their evil has come up before me.”

Jonah 1:2

 (Read Jonah 1)

The Lord called to Jonah and commissioned him with a very specific task - "Go to Nineveh and call out against it.

But Jonah fled, not just from the Lord's calling, but also from the presence of the Lord.

The typical response to an unflattering task is to argue or question God, which leaves me wondering, why did Jonah run?

Perhaps he was more afraid of the people of Nineveh than He was of the Lord - the creator of the land and the sea (v.9).

It is so easy to read Jonah's story and judge his character and acts of rebellion. But when we stop and ask ourselves if we have ever acted in rebellion instead of obedience, fearing people more than the Lord, I'm quite certain we would all answer yes. I know I have - very recently actually. A situation arose where I thought I knew better than God and set out to prove it. I dug my heels in and did exactly what other people wanted me to do - because that seemed easier than disappointing and hurting anyone else. And it was awful. And I was miserable. And, it turns out, I ended up hurting myself and others through my defiance.

Every step of defiance was a step away from the Lord. For weeks I fled. What started as a simple walk quickly escalated into a full on run to escape the Lord and what He was asking me to do. I honestly thought I knew better, and I was on a mission to prove it - to Him and to everybody.

Why was I running so hard and so fast and so far?

Because, just like Rebecca Faires points out, "God is fierce and awesome in His pursuit...God's pursuit is relentless exactly because He is so loving...God wanted Jonah."

I had to run because God's pursuit is relentless - because He is loving and because He wants me. I knew that once I slowed down, God's fierce love would overcome me, and that I would once again have to make a deliberate choice to either follow Him in submission and obedience, or take off running again, fleeing from my Lord. 

But I was getting tired. Attempting to outrun God is exhausting, physically and emotionally. And it is impossible. When Jonah thought he had escaped the presence of the Lord on the boat, he fell into such a deep sleep that not even the "great tempest" (v.12) of the sea could wake him. Running makes us weak. And no matter how fast or how far we go, our Lord continues to relentlessly pursue us with His fierce love for us.

But here's the thing - we cannot outrun God. It is one of His greatest promises to us. Over and over again, throughout God's Word, He promises that He will never leave us. He will always be with us. He will go with us. And in that, we can be strong and courageous (Deuteronomy 31:6, Joshua 1:5-9, Matthew 28:20, Hebrews 13:5).

God was with Jonah and wanted Jonah.

God is with me and wants me. 

He is with you and wants you. 

He "gives specific callings to specific people" (Ephesians 2:10, Rebecca Faires). He has placed us in our specific place with specific people with a specific purpose. We may not always understand the what or the why or the where or the when or the who or the how, but we are not meant to understand, we are meant to obey and follow.

When I finally stopped running, I fell to my knees and turned my face back to the Lord. And there was a peace that overwhelmed me when I submitted my own plans and desires to Him and moved in obedience with Him.

Fear makes us irrational. But leaning into the Lord makes everything right. Lean into His strength and His calling. Obey the Lord and trust Him. And know that when you run, He will pursue you with reckless abandon. You are His beloved.

Fight or Flight?

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I was reading about a guy named Samuel this morning. His whole story is pretty incredible, but today I was only reading about when God was calling him in (1 Samuel 3). As I read, I began to reflect on the times when I have felt the Lord call me to something or somewhere. I was relieved that Samuel also struggled to discern the voice of the Lord, but a little embarrassed by the way I actually handle myself when the Lord calls out to me.

When it comes to fight or flight, I am almost always a flighter. Confrontation, awkward moments, the actual raising of ones voice - they are not my love language. I would rather avoid until the tensions cool, and then just move forward rather than actually digging my heels in to deal with the issue at hand. This MO has brought me to where I am today (although, I have been told this is neither healthy nor productive, and so I am working on learning the art of confrontation - and yes - I might have just thrown up in my mouth a little...)

What has been revealed to me over the last few days is that my mode of operation with God looks vastly different than with those around me.

Oh sure, I take off running - that's pretty much standard operating procedure for this girl. But, as I run, I think and justify and, dare I say, argue??? I can dig my heels in with the best of them and fight God something fierce.

I generally begin by reminding God that I am not actually qualified or equipped of experienced to do the thing He told me to do. And as quickly as I can, I let my mind become filled with doubt that I even heard Him - I mean, who can really hear His voice anyway? And, here's the deal, He is a God of order and clarity, NOT chaos and confusion - and I cling white knuckled to that for as long as possible whilst I run my brains out.

Frustration and exhaustion will begin to set in. And this is when I just avoid and try really hard to just "be present" and "content" where I am. "This is good," I say. "I am good here. See, all is well."

Except, it's not all well and good. I am not sure what this stage looks like for you (if you even try to fight...), but this is about the time that I begin to feel angry and maybe resentful. My mood shifts. I become edgy and angry. I can even fall into some depression. I am not me.

Why?

Because I am acting out in blatant disobedience.
Because I begin to value who I want to be or who others want me to be over who the Lord has created me to be - over who He has called me to be.
Because I become so blinded by my desire for security and comfort and what is known that I forget who it is I am meant to be serving and honoring with my life.

And then here is what happens every.single.time.

Once I am too tired to keep running.
Once I no longer have it in me to fight.
Once I cease to act out in rebellion.
Once I confess to a wise friend what is going on.
Once I humble my heart and ask for wisdom.

Peace fills me - that cliche "peace of God which surpasses all understanding" (Philippians 4:7).

This is actually an incredible feeling - like this weight, this burden has been lifted - and I am me again.

Why?

Because I am now walking in obedience.
Because I am trusting my God.
Because I am no longer fighting or flighting.
Because I am submitting to the One who knows my past, present, and future - my wins and my failures - my strengths and my weaknesses.
Because I recognize and hear the voice of the Lord.

Sweet friends. There are a million reasons we can come up with to avoid following the Lord's calling on us. Everything from time to money to being unqualified or just flat out unwilling.

But here's the deal: God does not reserve His calling based on:

• your past sins (Saul/Paul)
• your future sins (David)
• your resume (Moses)
• your age (Timothy)
• your education (Peter)
• your gender (Esther)

Jill Briscoe says, "we get our "call" when we get saved. We are all called if we are saved...it is after obedience that the courage will be waiting for you."

"Okay, Lord. I get it. I hear you. I am getting up and going - blindly following you out into the deep unknown - trusting that you will lead me right into the place that you have designed for me to be. Give me strength and wisdom. I pray for bold actions and dauntless faith. May I serve you well as I serve those you have put before me."

Please know, by no means have I "arrived" and declare myself "awesome" at obeying the Lord. This continues to be a pattern of behavior that although I am now aware of, does not mean I am completely delivered from. But, now that I am aware, hopefully I will begin to trust and obey sooner than the time before.  I pray the same for you.

My Nemesis...

How I wish I felt about mornings with my girls...

How I actually feel about mornings with my girls...

I don't know what mornings are like at your house, but mine are peaceful and quiet and slow...

Until 7:00 am, when my children emerge from their rooms - noise and chaos following in their wake.

Inspired by a video I ran across a few months ago, I started writing down the things I say to my children in the morning - nearly EVERY.SINGLE.MORNING.

•  Good morning sweet girl.
• How did you sleep?
• I love you.

• Excuse me. If you are choosing to talk that way, then you can choose to go back into your room.

 

• Are you getting ready or just messing around?
• Are you getting ready?
• Are you ready? 
• Are you actually planning on getting ready today?
• I'm not sure which part of "getting ready" you two are working on right now.

 

• Are you doing anything constructive or just hanging out? 

• Stop.
• Stop it.
• Stop. It.

 

• If you can't get along, you need to separate.
• Separate please.
• Go to your rooms. 

• Where is your shirt?
• Why aren't you wearing a shirt?
• Seriously. Put on a shirt.

• Please don't leave your bloody Band-aid on the counter.

• Is your lunch made?
• Are your teeth brushed?
• Did you brush your hair?
• Are you sure?

• There's still a situation happening down here.

• Are you done with breakfast?
• Why are your dishes still out?
• Please put your dishes by the sink.
• Put your dishes away! 

• Are you doing what you are supposed to be doing?

• Are the clothes on the floor clean or dirty?
• Please put your clean clothes away.
• Please put your dirty clothes in the laundry room.
• Put your clothes where they belong! Please! 

• That's gross. 

• Give me a smoochie.
• I love you.
• Guess what...I love you.
• I'm praying for you today.
• Be kind. Make good choices. Be a good friend. I love you.

Yep. That's pretty much a normal morning in my home. And yes, apparently I ask about a million questions...it makes them own their behavior...? At least that's what I'm going with.

My girls are sweet, good girls, but something happens in the morning - it's like they lose their minds and forget who they are! And they seem to have no recollection of the expectations set before them the morning before. It's exhausting.

Sweet mama - the day-to-day, mundane, exhausting moments are worth it. Keep up the hard work. We are making a difference, even if we can't see it.

And, the good news is, if my kids are anything like me, they will have very few memories of the morning routine...
He is my inspiration for writing down what I say to my kids. I promise, you want to watch Flat Irons Community Church's video. It's one of my favorites!!! "It's right in front of your eyes!"