Tuesday, October 21, 2014

Releasing My Fears...Learning to Trust


CONFESSION TIME:

My name is Lisa and I am afraid.

There.  I said it.  It's out.

I have good intentions.
I beg and plead for God to use me.
I hear the gentle whisper of the Lord.
I set out to do what I hear God saying.

And then my fears creep in a shout in my face all the reasons to walk run the other way!

So, with that, I am starting over today.


In her study The Best Yes, Lysa Terkeurst says that "We aren't in the habit of release."  She goes on to say the reason for this is that we are afraid of missing something, but in the process of holding tight to the wrong things, we end up missing the best things.  She then references Moses and the time that he held on to his fear, disobeyed God, and then never entered the Promised Land as a consequence. (Numbers 20:1-12).

But the Lord said to Moses and Aaron, "Because you did not trust in me enough to honor me as holy in the sight of the Israelites, you will not bring this community into the land I give them."
Numbers 20:12

Moses was a faithful man who God had used to do some pretty amazing things - like parting the Red Sea.  But he was only a man, and he had fears and frustrations.  By refusing to release his fear that God could move, just by speaking, Moses is denied the one thing God had promised for over 40 years!  He would never enter the Promised Land.


This story haunted me when I read it recently.  It haunted me because I am not trusting God out of my own fears.  I am afraid of failing and of succeeding.  I am afraid of some of my walls crashing down and being exposed and vulnerable.  I thought that if I kept this call from God very quiet, maybe it would go away...like it wasn't really God's voice.

But as I read about Moses it became very clear to me that my lack of faith will prevent me from ever knowing God's best for me.  God's best for Moses was the Promised Land, and he never got to experience it because of this moment of fear and doubt that God wouldn't provide.  

I am fully aware of how weak I am by myself.  But I have been blessed with a Power House of amazing friends who are loving me and praying me through this - giving me not only the strength to continue on this path, but also holding me accountable so that I will not miss out on the things that really matter.

If I refuse to release my fears, what will I miss out on?  


My name is Lisa.  I am imperfect.  I am a work in progress.  I am working on releasing my fears and walking in faith.  I am learning to trust my God.

So, who are you?  What are you working on?  Confess your fears, release them, and start over.



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