It Matters

Image from She Reads Truth: Annie Downs

 

 

Keep on loving each other as [sisters]. Do not forget to entertain strangers...

Hebrews 13:1-2

(original text reads brothers not sisters)

I am in a constant struggle when it comes to parties and even Bible studies.  Why am I there?  Am I there for me or for someone else?  Am I there to hang out with my friends or to be a new friend?

My husband works a party like nobody's business!  He meets everyone and asks questions about who they are and what they do?  He probes until he finds a common ground and then has a real conversation.

I, on the other hand, will find a comfy spot on a chair or in a corner and will hang out there until it's time to go.  I joke, saying, "If people want to talk to me, they can come to me."  And if someone does strike up a conversation, I'll chat til Jesus comes! 

So I might feel a little overwhelmed at parties.  The funny part is that I am definitely the more social one between my husband and myself!

At my Tuesday morning Bible Study, I am a creature of habit.  I follow my morning routine and show up.  I walk straight to "my" table and put my bags down.  I turn back and get coffee.  Then it's either back to my seat or a quick stop by the food.  If someone comes to me, I stop, otherwise it's Anti-Social Annie in the house.

And this is where I struggle.  I know I'm not very good at being warm and welcoming to the new girls, even though I've been the new girl.  Even though I sat with this very group of women three years ago, completely alone and vowed that I would never let someone feel the way that I felt.  And what I have discovered about myself is that I am very selfish!  I want to come to Bible Study and sit with my friends - the ones who are safe - the ones who allow me to be open and transparent and real and vulnerable.  

So then I question why I am there.  Am I there for me?  Or is there someone else who needs me to come over and ask genuine questions and invite her to come sit with my safe friends?

Annie Downs' words from She Reads Truth stung and convicted me this morning:

"When we feel known, it changes who we are."

When I am known I am bold.  I stand taller.  I feel like I matter.  When someone makes a personal connection to me or remembers who I am, that means something to me. 

At my Grandma Fran's funeral, nearly everyone who came up to the family made a point to mention that they were her best friend.  My grandma had a pretty large circle of good friends, but best friends, she had one - plus her sister - and they had both passed away.  But my grandma had this way of making everyone feel like they were her best friend.  And that mattered.

I want to be known.  I want to be known as someone who made a point to make others feel known.  Because people matter.